Week 16 Recap: The Next Generation

With one second left in the third quarter, the three-point lead the Bengals had accumulated over the Chargers dangled by an unraveling string. It had only taken San Diego three plays to get to midfield on the drive and Phillip Rivers could smell a come-from-behind, playoff-preserving win brewing in the background. He wanted another bug chunk of yardage and went to his back-up tight end, Randy McMichael, on a deep crossing route. A catch would have put the Chargers on the Bengals' 35-yard line and edge themselves into easy field-goal range. A catch would have carried the drive further on its tour de force through Bengal territory and probably would have culminated into a go-ahead touchdown, but something went wrong.

McMichael stepped on the covering linebacker Rey Maualuga's back foot, and turned an ankle in the process. McMichael pulled up lame while Maualuga carried on and plucked the ball from the air. It wasn't a great throw, and probably would have ended incomplete at the very least if McMichael hadn't injured himself, but once Rey Rey picked off that pass and followed Reggie Nelson's instructions 47 yards the other way, the entire complexion of both team's futures changed in an instant.

The Chargers still made a game of it by kicking a field goal and pulling the score to within seven points inside of eight minutes left in the game, but then something else went wrong for the Bolts. In a play reserved for pee-wee football, the Bengals broke their huddle quickly and sprinted into formation. The Chargers lagged for a moment as they lined up to defend. The ball was snapped before the right corner was set, Jerome Simpson ran down the sidelines unguarded, Carson Palmer threw an easy deep pass, and the Bengals assassinated the Chargers' season.

It's moments like these that have been conspicuously absent all season in Cincinnati.

If someone were to ask me why the Bengals have performed so much better without their superstar wide-outs, I would say it's because the game-plan has become more simple. How many times this season have we seen Chad Ochocinco with his palms turned up wondering what Carson was thinking? How many times did Palmer make bad decisions trying to force Terrell Owens the ball? With these new guys—the unproven guys—there are no option routes to choose incorrectly on and there is no one receiver that simply must get the ball for the game plan to succeed. With this new bunch, who ever is open gets the pass. None of these guys are going to come back to the huddle complaining they didn't get the ball.

What is humorous is that when Terrell Owens became too hurt to play, the offense excelled. When Chad Ochocinco couldn't play, it was even better. There could not be a more perfect example in the world of the dangers of over-thinking one's self as this season has provided. Last year's model was criticized for being too basic, yet its simplicity somehow surprised the NFL enough to get them into the playoffs. It wasn't complex, but it knew what it was. This year's version was supposed to be the upgraded, big-boy offense that would surge the team to an even higher plateau and make the Bengals a Super Bowl contender, yet all it did was confuse the offense into believing it was something that it wasn't and resulted into more failure and embarrassment.

The funniest part, however, is that Cedric Benson, the team's bell-cow and work-horse all rolled into one strange animal, was the worst offensive player last Sunday. If this team truly is a run-first team that enjoys power and brute force, why is it the offense succeeded when Benson averaged 2.2 yards on 24 carries and fumbled the ball away?

The answer is because the backups are better on this team.

The more Bernard Scott gets a chance within the offense, the more he justifies my continuous rants about getting him more playing time. As both men progress in their careers, it becomes increasingly difficult to identify exactly what Benson brings to the table that Scott does not. Perhaps Scott can't physically hold up to 300 carries in a season when Benson has done so in back-to-back years, but that's the only leg Cedric has to stand on in the comparison. Even outside of Scott being a more explosive runner who catches the ball better and has faster straight-line speed, the fact is, Scott averages more yards a carry, hasn't fumbled seven times this season, and suits the athletic offensive line better with his skill set. While there may have been a multitude of factors outside of his control—a better coordinator, underachieving line play, an organizational resistance to commit to the run—I still expected a better season from Benson than the one he turned in this year. He went from a very good runner to a pretty decent one, and from my vantage point, not good enough to resign.

As for the receivers, the young ones improve Palmer's play. There is no reason why he and Ocho should not know each other back and forth. This to me, seems like a clear case of working with one person for too long. Their dynamic is old and stale and each man seems to think he knows the play better than the other. Jerome Simpson might be Chad all over again, only taller with enormous hands. His recent game time has been a breath of fresh air for fans and quarterback alike. Finally, this guy is beginning to justify his high draft pick and has earned himself much more attention heading into next season.

Andre Caldwell doesn't have the potential that Simpson does, but might be more reliable with Palmer right now than two men are who are heading to Canton. I don't feel Caldwell is capable of a whole lot more than what we've seen already, but he has had some hallmark plays when he gets a chance. When Chris Henry broke his arm, and Laveranues Coles proved to be a bust, a lot of pressure was placed on "Bubba". He never lived up to a second-receiver's productivity and that put him in the back seat of a crowded a receiver corps coming into this season. Despite his lack of snaps in 2010, though, it really seems like the guy takes his job seriously and has some kind of report with Palmer.

The crown jewel of the Bengals passing future, though, is the studly tight end, Jermaine Gresham. Here is the man who the offense should be built around for the next few years to come. He has flashed serious skill throughout the year and really strutted his stuff against the Chargers last weekend. He has many good things going for him, but his best attribute is catching the ball in traffic. More than once, he has wrestled the ball away from defenders in the end-zone without demonstrating much effort in the process. His routes aren't yet sterling, but are still easy to work with, and he has shown himself to be a tough lad to bring down. He has surpassed the 50-catch mark this season and was only shutout in one game—due to him missing the week's practice because of a death in the family. Gresham is composed of all-pro materials and is the kind of blue-chip prospect that is rare in professional football. More than perhaps any other draft pick other than Palmer, Gresham has the best chance to be the only truly great player drafted by Marvin Lewis. There is no reason why that shouldn't come true.

Even Cedric Peerman made an appearance last week. All that was missing was a Chase Coffman reception. In a paradox that only makes sense with the Bengals, the younger the player, the more dependable for Palmer they become. I still don't believe that Owens and Ocho are slouches who don't put in the necessary work to succeed, but there is something to the men who back them up that appear much more workman-like than the television stars.

All of this opinion, though, leads to the big question: what about Palmer? A few weeks ago I was calling for a new quarterback in 2011 and now it seems like I'm his boy again, right? Well, sort of. It's regular practice in this town—and not just with the Bengals—that teams who struggle for the majority of the year excite their fans toward the season finale by playing, and finding some success, with the young guys once their respective team has been eliminated from the postseason. That is what's happening here. I'm reserving my optimism of these pups to some degree because I've seen this movie before. If training camp wraps up next year and no receiver has more than three years under his belt, will you be comfortable with that? As good as these guys looked against San Diego, how do we know they can be trusted for a whole season? No one can trust a group of young players to fully maximize their potential with the current coaching staff. And if the players around Palmer aren't improving, there's a fat chance that he will get better himself.

That said, there aren't capable quarterbacks just out there for the plucking. If you're in the camp of drafting a QB, you'd better have a new coordinator to work with, and even then, unless he's a really good rookie, the youngster probably won't learn the NFL game fast enough to make the playoffs in his first year—not every draft supplies a Sam Bradford. So how many seasons are you willing to forgo before becoming a legitimate offense? If you want to test the free-agent market for a quarterback, there are countless examples of why that rarely works. One need not look further than Jake Delhomme to see the tragic results a journeyman quarterback typically produces.

So ultimately, I'm not in a hurry to run Palmer out of town. If he wants out, like he perhaps hinted at with local reporters recently, than he should have the opportunity to explore his options, but if he wants to stay on and try out the next generation, he may get it right this time.

There is still a long way to go before we're faced with such possibilities, but it is comforting to know that there is a chance the new guys can be a quality offense sooner than later.

On the defensive side, for unexplained reasons, this unit appears more inspired. Reggie Nelson looked active, involved and somewhat aggressive last game for maybe the first time all year. Similar to the receiving corps, the younger backups along the defensive line are getting to the opposing quarterback way more often than their aged predecessors were, magnifying the uselessness of Robert Geathers, Tank Johnson and Antwan Odom. Carlos Dunlap and Geno Atkins have given Mike Zimmer something of a pass-rushing fire that simply didn't exist earlier in the year, and Michael Johnson still seems like he has more room to grow.

It was most refreshing to see Maualuga step up and make a big play, and elevate himself to an above-average linebacker. It was just a couple of years ago when he was making big plays every week at USC, but either the pro game has taken more time than he expected or he just isn't being coached all that well. Regardless, he looked like his college self returning the ball into Chargers territory on that crucial interception and, for all intents and purposes, won the game for his team.

All in all, it was a delight to watch a the Bengals deal the coup de grâce to the San Diego Chargers last week. Not since the mythical Bears game from last year did the team look so prepared, and for the second week in a row, the team was not out-coached. For one lasting moment, this was not a team of should-have-been but rather one of will-be. A peek at the future was revealed and it really didn't look too bad at all. If only this were next year, there would still be three more games to see the "New Bengals" in action, but as it is, we have only the Baltimore Raisins to showcase the future against. In regards to the Chargers game, though, I speak for my fellow Bengal brethren when I say to the team thank you and what took you so damn long?


Mojokong—the living and the frozen.

Week 16 Preview: Let It Snow!

Written on December 24, but not posted until today:

There are a few ways to look at the game this Sunday between the Cincinnati Bengals and the San Diego Chargers.

On the very fringe of permissible reasoning is the ancient hope that a warm-weather team will struggle in the cold of Cincinnati in late-December. The problem with that idea, though, is that the Chargers are a tremendously successful winning team in winter and, in theory, can only play roughly half of those games in their pleasant Southern California air. Most road games -- if outdoors -- are bound to be played somewhere colder and yet Phillip Rivers and his team carries on with a 20-1 record in December. Nonetheless, history tells us that the more the elements infuse themselves into any game, the more of a ground-and-pound contest it becomes. Therefore, if a wintery mix of freezing temperatures and any precipitation were to occur, and the Bengals stick with the run, they have a good shot at playing spoiler. Still, that is a weak reason to hope for a win, so more exploration is required to fulfill the worth of the time spent reading this entry.

Most of the hard analysis concerning the Bengals, depends largely on what team shows up. If it's the sports car with the blown transmission, then we can stop now, because that team doesn't move at all. If it's the kids bike with the training-wheels, on the other hand, we can at least make it to the end of the driveway and back and maybe even beyond someday.

Bengals offense vs. Chargers defense
The flashy passing-too-much variation of the Bengals offense only helped the statistics of Terrell Owens. It was either needlessly complicated, or stubbornly forced into the play-calling, or both, but whatever the reason, it's safe to label the experiment at this point as a failure. Once TO blew a knee and came out of the game, everyone on the Bengals seem to wake up, like a weird sleeping curse had been lifted. They remembered who they were again and went on to finally win a game.

It's important that Cincinnati sticks with what works. Sure, many of these individuals will be working elsewhere in a few months, and most of what happens in the next two weeks is meaningless, but they still must play to win, and to do that, they have to be last-year's Bengals.

Since the television stars have been shelved, the youngsters now take over, and they seem to require a more basic workload. When watching these receivers run their routes, one notices the simplicity of their assignments and of the offense as a whole. Subsequently, each player executes with more confidence because he has a better understanding and clearer expectation of the play's result. Bengal coaches would probably tell me that the plays called are no different without TO, and that the execution has simply been better. Even if that is the case, figuring out why an improvement occurred at all is the key to "fixing" the Bengals, and I am convinced that it's because a lot of uncertainty was removed once ridden of the future hall-of-fame player.

Regardless, the Bengals are going with the youth movement again this Sunday, so it seems safe to assume that they will stick with the run and short passing game. It's the kind of offense they should have stuck with all season long -- especially after two wins where the team mightily struggled throwing the ball.

I still can't figure out why they ever went away from the run-heavy play-calling. Had the powers-that-be decided to go the other extreme and go no-huddle as often as possible and really attack the oppositions secondary with spread formations and lots of deep balls, then I would have been fine with that too. As it is, however, no true identity was assumed, and the team lost 10 straight games as a result.

To give the Bengals fans present a show, to some degree, is to not show them much at all. The more boring the game, the better the Bengals' chances are to win. Cincinnati should pound Benson more, sprinkle in another heavy-handed scoop of Bernard Scott, let the offensive line get in the groove again and require Carson Palmer to do as little as possible. Simple is better.

Chargers offense vs. Bengals defense
The Bengals safeties are spared this week as the great Antonio Gates is resting up for a playoff run and will forgo this Sunday's match-up, as will the stork-like receiver, Malcolm Floyd. Old Randy McMichael takes the place of Gates, who is still a big angry guy with decent hands, but not near the all-pro caliber of the Kent State basketball player. Still, the Chargers have other large targets like Vincent Jackson, and Tatooine native, Legedu Naanee, but the difference-maker could be the smaller guy, Patrick Crayton.

Crayton dislocated his wrist on November 24, and missed the last four weeks, but fully participated in at least one practice this week. If Rivers sees that he's matched up with the likes of Johnathan Wade, or Fred Bennet, or any other random corner the Bengals sign this week to play in the nickel, he will likely go after that person and Crayton could bust out on a slant or seam route. He has good straight-line speed and has big-play ability (18.4 yards-per-catch), but he sometimes experiences inopportune flare-ups of the droppsies and it keeps his career from blossoming. The Bengals would like to keep the score low and create a field-position war, but in order to accomplish that, they must limit the "explosive" plays that have plagued this defense many times this year. That means not losing track of Crayton and tackling receivers in the open field. This is a talented passing attack; if the game allows for passing, Cincinnati will need its star corners to play the game of the year.

If it is a ground-game played in snow and wintry wind, then the Chargers become less scary. Rookie Ryan Mathews hasn't really blown the doors of off anything, and Darren Sproles is still a jitter-bug extraordinaire, but he too is not a snow-back. What he is, is a screen threat. As soon as the Bengals see him enter the game, they should be mindful of the screen. The linebackers should flow to his side of the field when he enters the flats, and really sell out on the screens. If they get tricked on this kind of play, so be it, but they can't over think themselves into ignoring the strengths of their opponent. Keeping Sproles away from open field with blockers in front, should be this week's top defensive priority.

Conclusion

In spirit of the celebration of the winter solstice, I encourage all of you to join me in a pagan snow dance which will bury those sunny San Diego Chargers into a blizzardly void of howling northern winds and sharp, icy snowflakes. If we get nature on our side, we simply cannot lose. Collectively, we can make nature a Bengals fan!

So let there be an abundance of rushes and field goals and punts. Let there be Carlos Dunlap sacks and Leon Hall pick-sixes. And just for holiday fun, I want an onside kick too -- not the desperation kind either, a sneaky one, like the opening kick-off or something.

This is the final curtain call here in Cincinnati for a few of the main characters. The future hasn't looked so uncertain since the first few years of the 21st century for the Bengals and not every one is likely to return once the season concludes. Under all that cold and frost in the air will be a warm undercurrent of nostalgic camaraderie. The last look upon this era is before us. Behold the final home game of the Marvin Lewis Era!

With snow:
Bengals 16, Chargers 13

Without snow:
Chargers 27, Bengals 16



Mojokong—long live the Krampus.

Week 15 Recap: Welcome Home

What you saw on Sunday was the real Bengals; not the imposters that have played like movie extras this season. It remains to be seen whether it was coincidence or not that the offense resumed its power-running success of last season as soon as Terrell Owens was forced to come out, but it sure seemed that suddenly Bob Bratkowski abandoned his beloved “vertical” attack for the old, boring Cedric Benson show and, lo and behold, won the game.

The more basic the parameters of the offense, the better plays are executed. For almost two drives in the first half, the Bengals played perfectly, better than I've seen from them in since mid-2009.

The first drive was started by a bouncy Benson run for eight yards. On the next play, Cleveland encroached, allowing a first down. Next was a nice play-action—for Carson Palmer's standards, at least—and he threw an accurate sideline throw to Jerome Simpson on a box route to the outside: nice catch, two feet down, move the chains. During this play, I felt the physical similarities of Simpson and Chad Ochocinco were unmistakable in the way they move and even run.

After another couple of Benson runs and three nice short completions—one to Jordan Shipley, two to Andre Caldwell—the offense became themselves again on one particular pitch play to Benson which I want you to envision like a Japanime cartoon when I describe it. First, Benson catches the pitch and right away sees fullback Chris Pressley get low on his block and take his guy out but also become an obstacle in Ced's running lane. No problem; Benson leaps him and carries on. Next he finds Nate Livings in front of him looking for a block. Benson moves in behind the giant, luring his defender closer, then slings Livings into the guy he wants blocked and moves ahead. As he approaches the defense's next level, he sees that Kyle Cook has snowplowed some space a good ten yards past the line of scrimmage and is still shoving a defensive tackle well past the first down marker. A linebacker desperately hurls himself around Benson's ankles, but Ced runs through it like paper mache'. Finally, a small defensive back latches himself onto Benson's nameplate and is carried along for two or three more yards. It was a simple gain of 12, but the Bengals looked hard again and it made me proud.

The drive continued flawlessly with a nice bootleg roll-out pass to Jermaine Gresham followed by more spectacular blocking that allowed Benson to surf his way through an enormous running lane untouched for an 18-yard touchdown.

Here was a team that wins divisions. Here is a team that competes. Why did take so long?

It has to be TO, to some degree. I think Owens is great and has far exceeded my expectations of him, but all he needed to be was a better Laveranues Coles, not a Pro-Bowler. I know how ridiculous that sounds—not wanting Pro-Bowlers—but TO as the offensive focal point became something of an obsession and led to real problems for the team as a whole.

The mantra in the offseason was to improve the passing game in order to balance the offense. Benson cautioned against too much balance because he knew what works for the Bengals: the power run game. They ignored him and all others repeating his laments and desperately tried to become a deep-pass offense. Forced throw after forced throw was flung in TO's direction only to come up incomplete or worse. Running downs became too obvious, the stretch play too slow to develop, and Bernard Scott was fed crumbs for carries. Benson slugged his way to a paltry 3.6 yards-per-carry and six fumbles and the line never appeared as cohesive as any part of last year. Even TO himself began to openly question the play-calling, even though he was getting the ball more than any other receiver by far. When a player who has made a career of demanding the ball is saying it's too much, then it's too much.

Nonetheless, the Bengals brain-trust persisted and the results speak for themselves. Unimpressive in nearly every offensive category and hemorrhaging costly turnovers, the team's stubborn refusal to go back to a run-first philosophy is mostly to blame for the season's debacle.

Now TO has torn his maniscus and suddenly we have Jordan Shipley playing the part of Laveranues Coles, Jermaine Gresham playing J.P. Foschi, Jerome Simpson as Chad Ochocinco and Andre Caldwell as himself. Plus, of course, more Benson, and, my favorite, more Bernard Scott. With this group, the Bengals called simple crosses and quick outs and nice screens and all the things that make sense in football. More than any other group, the line looked both inspired and completely in rhythm. It was a blast to watch; I love that kind of football. It was the road-grading, steam-rolling machine of 2009—not a completely dominant team, but brutish and tough to beat.

Last year we demanded more, but altering the foundation of the team to accomplish that demand was a misstep. Instead, they should have made the strengths stronger and not worry so much about balance. Even with TO, the Bengals had the best ball-control passing-game personnel you could ask for, but they tried to dress up the duck as something else rather than just admitting it was a duck all along. Sadly, it takes 15 weeks and a blown-out TO knee to fall back on a plan-B that works better than their plan-A. Only with the Bengals is that even possible.

The good news is that we have two more games to see if any of this is true. If they come back and not run it most of the time and throw more dumb interceptions forcing it deep into coverage, then I take back all the nice things I said about these men, but for now, I feel much better about things. This was more than a win, it was a coming home.

Of course, I can't go without a mention of the defense. For the first time in a long time, I noticed the Bengals stop the opposition on a meaningful third-and-short play that forced a field goal. Very nice. Also, Carlos Dunlap is fun to keep an eye on. He possesses legitimate individual moves, is a big, strong lad with a wide frame and speed, has given opposing offenses something to key on, and is looking like the pass-rushing prospect the team so desperately needs. Johnathan Joseph will be missed if he signs a mammoth contract elsewhere. If the guy could stay healthy, he could be a top-three corner in the NFL, but as it is, he's probably somewhere in the seven or eight range. That may sound marginal to you and I, but those kinds of slots represent millions of dollars. And finally, the linebackers looked very active and even kind of fast on Sunday, and, for as mush as I have beaten them up this season, deserve some credit.

I think that the defense can only benefit from long, time-eating drives like the ones the Bengals enjoyed against Cleveland, and perhaps even more beneficial than just resting, is the confidence of winning like a power team. These exact same men played a lot of inspired football last season; it only takes a familiar feeling to invoke that same inspiration.

So while I cannot let up on the villainy that exists atop the organization, nor the idiocy that blindly leads the offense into battle, and not even the field general who seldom dazzles but dazzles all the same, I will admit that for about three hours, I was once again proud to be a Bengals fan.


Mojokong—life is pleasure.

Week 15 Preview: Because You're Special

There is a rumor going around that a professional football game will be played this weekend between a couple of teams from Ohio. I suppose there will be a few people who are genuinely interested in the outcome, but by and large, it's an event that is purely played out for money.

There should be very little ramifications to anyone's immediate future outside of the game's participants on Sunday. Some of those guys don't mind playing for the team they're on, and others can see themselves on different teams next year, but all of them still need to put in quality play "on tape". The tape, you see, is what teams watch to evaluate a player's worth, and here in America, that means money. So while everyone involved might tell you that they're playing the season out for their teammates and the fans, really they're playing for the loot.

I, on the other hand, receive not a cent for these football musings, but I carry on, occasionally sidetracked, but largely undeterred. So while I admit that I nearly forgot to do this week's preview, and even considered skipping it briefly after a large dinner and some wine, here I am laboring through it anyway. I do it for you, gentle reader, because I love you.

Browns offense vs. Bengals defense

The way the Bengals will prepare for the Browns depends on which quarterback they trot out there. If it's Jake Delhomme, all the Bengals have to do is sit back and wait for the turnovers to show up. Delhomme is arguably the most overpaid player in the NFL, unless he gets paid bonuses for interceptions. If it's Seneca Wallace that plays, the Bengals will have to keep him in the pocket, guard the deep ball and limit the explosive plays. And if it's Colt McCoy, they should play more shallow in their coverage and not lose containment on quarterback runs. Honestly though, it doesn't matter that much because the Browns would rather ignore the quarterback position altogether if they could.

Their warthog-like bruiser Peyton Hillis has blossomed into a surprisingly effective every-down back for the Brownies. Not only can he slug his way to a 100-yard game being hard to tackle and showing decent speed for his size, but has good hands too and is a nice option in the passing game. The only legitimate knock on Hillis this season has been his league-leading eight fumbles. For the Bengals to win, they will need to bait the Browns into giving the ball away with either erratic quarterback play, or loose ball-handling by Hillis.

Bengals offense vs. Browns defense

The Browns don't feature any superstar defenders but they play hard and somehow remain competitive. Despite ranking in the bottom half in both stopping the run and the pass, Cleveland is 11th in points allowed. Since they face a team that only scores points when it matters the least, the Browns have a good chance to improve on that statistical success of keeping the opposition out of the end-zone.

If the Bengals are going to reverse their own trend and put up some decent points early on, they have a good shot at breaking their 10-game curse. It's not impossible. Avoid killer penalties, limit turnovers, play-call sensibly and execute to even a minor degree and a win can come against a good team, never mind a five-win one. The problem is, of course, managing all of those things simultaneously—a feat that has proven to be nearly impossible for this current group.

I have no more magic equations that can result in a boost in offensive production. The team knows what it has and what it can do, it just chooses to ignore those facts and consistently do the opposite of what makes the most sense. They haven't suffered many injuries on offense, they've only suffered some form of brain damage that keeps them from winning. It's very sad really.

However, I won't cheat you, noble reader, and you shall receive at least this nugget of analysis: get the ball to Chad Ochocinco more—he's pretty good. In all this misery and letdown, Chad still has runs routes that perhaps only two other receivers in the league could manage. His hands haven't worsened, and his feet continue to dazzle, but the one thing that keeps him from being as great as he used to be is that he inexplicably isn't on the same page with his quarterback of the last eight years, Carson Palmer. Chad is still an elite receiver but he can't connect often enough with the other half that makes a completed pass possible; fix the arm, and the hand will follow.

Conclusion

So for those of you still out there, you might see a win this week—that is, if you can see it at all. The Cleveland Browns are not an imposing enemy. They have played moments of inspired ball this season and are on the upswing as a franchise, but for now, they're still the Browns. Sadly, for the Bengals, they're, well...still the Bengals.

Browns 7, Bengals 6


Mojokong—fading into an afterthought.

When The Yes-Men Say No

The unraveling of the Cincinnati Bengals is firmly underway as Terrell Owens is no longer holding back his criticism of the organization, and now Carson Palmer himself is envisioning playing elsewhere next season. Chad Ochocinco admitted that he's been desensitized to losing and Marvin Lewis has officially become the other shoe which dangles in the breeze. Once Marvin falls, expect a wave of personnel to run away too as the stability—as fragile as it is now—would become completely nonexistent. This is a team that is charging toward disarray. The glamorous facade of this year's Bengals, dressed up and fancy as they come, has shown to have poor structural integrity and is collapsing as we speak. Shameful.

I'm proud of Carson for answering honestly though. For the first time ever, he has flexed his power position within the organization, effectively applying pressure on ownership. It reminds me of when the younger gorilla does a little chest-thumping to the old silver-back to prove rank in the band. All that's left are statements that end with “or else” and we got ourselves a rootin-tootin showdown to write about this winter and spring.

In most organizations—especially bad ones—it's unusual for a quarterback to have such a power-share of the team, but we know Mike Brown needs him for a variety of reasons and most of those aren't about winning games. Carson is under contract, and Brown historically has not caved to trade demands, so Brown could just keep him here in football limbo and become the quarterback of the “rebuilding” process. I think that prospect scares Palmer and that he's planting seeds to potential suitors early enough in the process to start negotiations quicker this February.

Carson has also raised questions of leadership and team interest by admitting that he could see himself in another uniform next season. He was chewed up by media everywhere after last week's debacle and the city has venomously turned on him over the course of the season—myself included. He probably feels somewhat abandoned and wrongfully vilified by a community and fan base that he worked hard to please, on and off the field. Getting booed for the rest of his career here would be a dismal future; wouldn't you rather leave too?

That is the beauty of his statement. It not only opens the door for new opportunity, but it rather forcibly shoves one through it. Now he can play the remainder of this year as an audition to the rest of the league. Hopefully he goes rogue and calls whatever he thinks will make him look the best. Each guy in the huddle should get to run their favorite play at least once a game for the rest of the year. Let's get silly, why not?

Finally Carson Palmer's hint at team dissent should make the whole apparatus come down. Without Palmer, I can't see Marvin staying on board and laboring through the entire process over again in that same working environment. Unless he doesn't mind losing or working within the small confides of Mike Brown's operation, then he should stay and average six wins a year, but we know he does mind both of those things, so it seems there is no good reason he should stick around.

Once Marvin goes, the public will tear into Brown with stern demands of organizational change and I'm afraid it will get very ugly. Anti-Mike Brown rallies on Fountain Square and Paul Brown Stadium, empty season-ticket sections, nine blackouts next season, an influx of Cleveland Browns fans to the area, my God! In what should be a happy little football valley, instead has the darkened skies and scorched earth of a wasteland. To all free-agents to be: stay away from this place. It will ruin you too.

So like the musicians on the Titanic, the players will carry on for three more games, pack their bags and, if they're still under contract, sink into the abyss. The fortunate others will cram into lifeboats and paddle their way to other teams, but even now, this ship is going down fast so they had better hurry. Here's to the good times; remember them well.


Mojokong—we knew this day would soon come, but how strange it all is now that it's here.

Week 14 Recap: Numb With Defeat

In a game the Steelers dared Cincinnati to win, the Bengals stayed to true to form and beat themselves.

After opening the game with a touchdown drive, knocking Pittsburgh out of field-goal range on a sack, and marching back down field to the Steeler 27 yard-line, it felt like the Bengals would be real challengers on the day, but then reality set in. On the next play, Palmer was sacked on first down—and showing off the escape ability of a aged rhino in the process—followed by a disgusting screen to Benson that lost three more yards, and finally a three-yard give-up play to Jordan Shipley. A give-up play on 3rd-and-20 isn't the worst idea playing with a seven-point lead, but getting more than three yards when you need 20 shouldn't be all that hard to design. It's the small failures that have ruined this team and its season. If there are no specific individuals that can be identified as the reason for such consistent failure, than the group as a whole must be changed.

The first interception to Troy Polomalu was yet another forced pass to Terrell Owens up the middle. It is beyond comprehension why the ball is so often forced his way. An inexperienced safety on a bad defense can read the play when TO crosses to the middle, of course Polomalu is going to take it to the house. After the game, Owens talked about how the Bengals don't make the adjustments required to prevent predictable turnovers, and you can see it on the field. It was a bad read on a bad decision on a bad play-call. I think TO knew it was doomed when Carson called out the play in the huddle. The ridiculousness of the entire offensive brain-trust is probably still baffling for a player used in so many successful teams like TO. He likes getting the ball, sure, but I bet he would prefer to get it less if it means suffering less interceptions as team, yet they still throw silly passes his way time and again. Simply crazy.

The ensuing possession after the pick-six seems inconsequential, but again exemplified the fallout of a series of small failures.

The drive started okay with a six yard pass to Chad Ochocinco, but then Bobby Williams was called for a false start setting up 2nd-and-9. Well, of course the Bengals run stretch hand-offs on second-and-long, everyone knows that, including the Steelers, so the play goes for zero yards. What happened on third down? Since the Bengals have to throw, and Carson moves about in concrete shoes these days, Dick LaBeau sent pressure with an extra DB and brought old No. 9 down for a sack. Shocking, I know. The Bengals punted, and the Steelers scored a field goal right before halftime.

Beating the Bengals is easy because they come with an instruction manual that literally tells you what it is they do and why they do it. Want the formula to stopping Cincinnati's offense? Stop the obvious runs to set up passing downs that, when pressured, result in either thrown balls out of bounds around the sidelines or forced throws into the middle usually to TO. There, now you too can beat the Bengals.

The defense wasn't masterful, but they played well enough to not get screamed at this week. The Bengals get after Ben Roethlisberger well for some reason, and I liked the blitzes Mike Zimmer dialed up with Chinedum Ndukwe and Dhani Jones, but the dropped interceptions were killers each time on Sunday. If Brandon Johnson catches that pick in the end-zone, he may get a good return and set up a score. Instead, it translates into three points for the Steelers, and the Bengals are once more playing from behind.

Eventually, Palmer ended up throwing his second pick-six , the latter to LeMarr Woodley, and essentially losing the game—his team's tenth loss in a row. He later claimed not to have seen Woodley when he made the throw, something he says often after throwing interceptions. It isn't that I don't believe Carson, it's just that I don't care if he saw him or not. The man throws a ton of interceptions, way too many, and no excuse holds up for them anymore.

It would be nice to hold off and evaluate Palmer until after the season, but what I saw on Sunday frightened me.

The California Kid was never a really fast guy. Maybe early on, before the knee injury, he had some nice straight line speed, but he has never been quick. Last game, however, he looked downright immobile, hurt and old. He has dealt with a host of injured body parts this season, and he is finishing up his seventh season of actually playing in the NFL, but if he can't figure out a way to get better, how much more of a career does he realistically have?

That sounds sort of ridiculous, right? A franchise quarterback who has put up solid stats in his career shouldn't feel threatened entering this eighth season, but what does Palmer still do well? He isn't mobile—we've belabored that already—he isn't accurate, doesn't put much of a zip on passes anymore, the deep ball hasn't been all that great since before the elbow problems, he makes a lot of bad reads for interceptions, he has a very limited sense of pocket presence, he goes down easily, doesn't manage the clock particularly well, still hasn't completely mastered the only offense he's ever been in, and he hasn't improved on any one particular skill nor is he likely to since he is so rapidly aging. I see no more upside in the guy and I feel admitting that, closes an unfortunate chapter to this franchise's history: the squandering of Carson Palmer.

I'm probably being too hard on the guy. I think with a change of scenery, he could resurrect his career and be a starter for a few more years, but even then he won't be the face of any franchise. Instead of ending as the Peyton Manning or the Tom Brady-kind of quarterback we were convinced he would one day become, he is more likely to end up like the Kerry Collins and, of course, Drew Bledsoe-type instead—that comparison just won't go away. Sad to say, but Carson is officially now a shoulda-been.

Cincinnati could have pulled this one out and gave us something to smile about, but they lived up to expectations and let us down again, on their own terms. Teams don't have to beat the Bengals, they will do it themselves. The second rebuilt team of the Marvin Lewis-era is a complete and utter failure; the system is broken. The future is doomed.

Mojokong—the emo blogger of goth football.

Coming Clean: The Sway Of The Raider

I love the NFL. The sweatpants, the couch time, the weekly parade of game upon game on Sundays is one of the brighter sides of life for me. It's especially sweet in the winter when there is no guilt for missing a beautiful autumn afternoon indoors watching football. There's no way I can give it up, which has sprung about a recent conundrum.

My favorite team is, of course, the Cincinnati Bengals—far from a secret. Despite all the anguish and torment we fans have lived through this season, along with the complete indifference to the losing shown by team ownership, I still care. Sometimes—many times really—I wish that I didn't, but I keep right on caring weekend after weekend. I'm proud that I'm from Cincinnati but it's hard to be proud of the Bengals, and it's downright impossible to be proud of the team's owner, Mike Brown. Not only does he run his organization like a stubbornly backward totalitarian, he has gouged the city for millions of tax dollars to pay for his stadium. He is morally heinous and cannot be supported with good conscious. Therefore, while keeping an eye on the continually strange developments of the Bengals, I have officially incorporated another team into my NFL interest: the Oakland Raiders.

Why the Raiders?

Ownership

The most depraved part about being a Bengals fan is how damned interesting the team is for all the wrong reasons. Their failures are typically epic, and, if nothing else, it makes for good theater. Mike Brown makes such bad decisions most of the time, one can't help but watch the predictable train wreck with mouth agape.

The Raiders too know a thing or two about eccentric team ownership. Al Davis has outlived his brain yet the jump-suit wearing salamander is still perched atop his Raider empire, falling in and out of sleep and calling everyone by the same name. He's become that uncle that everyone smiles and nods to but has know idea what it is he's asking for. The biggest difference between Al Davis and Mike Brown, however, is that Al has won the Super Bowl three times; MB has only sniffed a championship hanging around the heels of his legendary father. Since he took over the team in 1992, Brown's team has appeared in the playoffs twice and have won maybe 40 percent of their games. Anyway you slice it, he's a loser. Al Davis, on the other hand, may be past his prime, or even past his life expectancy, but you can't say he's a loser. He's passionate about his team and will make hasty decisions to get them back to winning immediately. Based on his history, he doesn't appear to know how to appropriately rebuild because he isn't used to losing. Because the quick fix has proved elusive for ol' Uncle Al, the Raiders have had a rough go of it since Jon Gruden, but, in more ways than one, times are a-changin' along Coliseum Way in Oakland, and mostly for the better.

The Future

The Raiders are finally drafting well and composing their team in a sensible manor in regards to player and coach personnel. Tom Cable has the look of a Raider coach. First off, he's an overweight line coach, just like John Madden and Art Shell once was, he is spirited and the players seem to respond to him, and he apparently has a mean right cross (or was it the left? It doesn't matter). It appears he is a contributing reason for the offensive line's recent improvement and he also seems to have solid position coaches.

Bengal fans should remember Hue Jackson, once the Bengals receivers coach and now the offensive coordinator for Oakland. Jackson has worked with two quarterbacks this season in hopes of finding the right rhythm for the offense, and is apparently now stuck with Jason Campbell for the remainder of the year. Despite that uncertainty under center, Jackson has crafted an offense that has helped Oakland become one of the stronger rushing units in the league today.

Quarterback Jason Campbell wanders across the whole spectrum in terms of his consistency and effectiveness, but one thing is for sure, the less the Raiders need to pass, the better off they are. Oakland has vacillated between Campbell and fellow QB, Bruce Gradkowski, but the latter swashbuckled his way to the injured-reserve list and Campbell is now the man. I've seen some catastrophic implosions centered around the inability for teams to stick with one starting quarterback and I felt like that same syndrome had started in on this year's Raiders after Week 12, but with Gradkowski shelved for the remainder of the year the team can now prepare in a more focused and hopefully more efficient way. Honestly, losing Gradkowski may have saved the season for Oakland; not because he's bad, but because now there is certainty, and that goes a long way in practice. I personally think the way to go is letting Campbell grow into Jackson's offense not only for the remainder of this season, but even into next year as well,

The defense has its share of veterans, especially on the front line, but the youth on the team brims with potential. Middle linebacker Rolando McClean has excellent size, solid play-recognition skills for a rookie, and a power-packed tackling form that removed Darren Sproles from the game last week. Having a stud middle linebacker to build the defense around is a great place for general managers to start when assembling a roster. Another promising rookie on the defensive side is lineman LaMarr Houston. This guy is 305 lbs, but carries his weight around easily encompassed in a rather sleek physique for such a big man. I've watched him throw tackles around and burst with speed toward the quarterback in the last three weeks. He has four sacks in 12 games and looks like he could play end or tackle; hybrid-type players like Houston are typically the future of the league as they allow franchises more flexibility in their planning of coaching scheme and player personnel.

With the stellar corner Nnamdi Asomugha lurking in the secondary and whole slabs of aged beef up front in the form of Richard Seymour, Tommy Kelly and big John Henderson, this defense is an interesting mix between explosive youth and grizzly veteran leadership. They still have their weaknesses (shallow cornerback depth and limited run-stoppers), but they are tied for first in sacks (36) and play with an adequate chip on their shoulder—defenses that don't mix it up with some pushing and shoving aren't doing their job.

The Short Term

We shouldn't quite write off the Raiders from the postseason just yet. Teams that peak late in the year often carry momentum deep into the playoffs with them. Look at the Jets of last season. This latest win in San Diego is the perfect spring board for Oakland to plow ahead into their next four games. If the team fully buys into Campbell as their man (which it has no reason not to), and they stick with their smash-mouth team-persona, they can surprise a lot of pundits by charging out of nowhere and winning the AFC West. They certainly need a little help with a Kansas City letdown here and there in the stretch run, but after pulling ahead of San Diego, they have the Chiefs in their sights.

I watched the Raiders get hammered by the Steelers, but I feel that happened because Oakland was not familiar enough with the trickery that makes up the secret ingredient to Pittsburgh's success. As long as the Raiders are a power-run team, opponents like the Steelers will remain their ultimate challenge. Had Oakland been more ready for the flea-flickers, the end-arounds, and anything involving Antwan Randle-El, the score would have been closer. It was a rough loss, but a necessary one to help Oakland accurately reevaluate themselves.

Then I watched the Miami Dolphins fly to Oakland and put the Raiders in a headlock that they simply could not escape from. Once more the team learned that Gradkowski could not freestyle himself to more than a long—and arguably lucky—pass play for a touchdown. Even though they led at halftime and were in it for most of the game, it was clear the Dolphins had outplayed them by being more physical at the line of scrimmage. Instead of being ready for a bare-knuckle brawl, the Raiders were forced to rely on a few big plays by the electric Jacoby Ford to keep the score from becoming dismal earlier. Miami did nothing all that sneaky or unusual—they ran their offense and dared the Raiders to stop it—they also picked on rookie Walter McFadden who had a forgettable day to say the least. Overall, it was a fairly flat performance by a team who wilted a bit under the playoff microscope.

This past weekend, though, I finally got a taste of real Raider fandom as I watched them run through the Chargers with a play-calling scheme that highlighted the unique abilities of each offensive player. It was fun to watch and I caught myself yelling; that surprised me.

Getting Michael Bush involved in order to gain tough yards and wear opposing defenses out is key for the fourth quarters of this team's season. Mixing in Darren McFadden as a change-of-pace back will maximize his potential and make him a star as long as he stays in his optimal role. Designing a short, ball-control passing attack that looks for five to seven yards a play, along with the occasional deep ball to keep defenses honest, can perserve the identity of the offense along with protect Campbell from pressure and hopefully injury. Hue Jackson managed to do all of those things Sunday and it ended with an offensive performance that didn't blow the doors off of anything, but kept the ball in their hands and dictated the win (pressuring Philip Rivers all day helped too). If the Raiders wanna play football in mid-to-late January, this is the way they have to go about their business, and that is with a two-headed running monster sprinkled with a west-coast passing game. They have all the pieces, it's just a matter of being physical to make it work.

Conclusion

So that's why I am now, from this day forward (but really three weeks ago), also a Raider Fan. They are strangely fascinating with their weird cast-away fan-base and their wrinkled and whacked-out owner. They have a young and promising power-run team with a mean pass rush, and not only should they be good for years to come, they may actually make some real noise in 2010. Plus, they easily have the best uniforms in football and let's face it, that matters somewhere in the football universe.

So there you have it. I know many of you will not respect this curious shift in loyalty and allegiance but it's what I have to do in order to remain a happy football fan. I'm not completely breaking up with the Bengals, but I'm clearly seeing someone else.

Mojokong—it's complicated; just go with it.

Week 14 Preview: Possibilities In The Land Of Make-Believe

This train ride to nowhere makes a stop in Pittsburgh this week in what most expect will be a lop-sided and savage affair. These people will say there's no hope for the Bengals and that leaving Pittsburgh with their lives and most of their possessions is the best they should hope for. Why not fold up this lawn chair and call the whole season a rainy day at the beach, right? After all, here in the throws of winter, waking up to single-digit temperatures and win-totals have already become a depressing combination; taking a Steeler smack-down to the chops would excavate new morale lows for the team and its dwindling fans.

However, this entry's purpose is not to to drift you closer to football suicide, but rather the opposite. With the season mercifully wrapping up, and the impending labor doom darkening the horizon for next year, this game is Marvin's Last Stand, the Battle of Little Big Ben, the fight for Middle Earth! When a person knows their effort will not result in their desired goal—when they have undoubtedly failed—the fighter-types give it one last furious push to prove their nobility as opponents—the gunslinger who takes out a few more bad guys as he bleeds from his gut. That's what I wanna see from the Bengals this weekend. They have lost the season, presumably their head coach and any and all enthusiasm from their city. There is nothing left to lose. Do it for Marvin, do it for us, or do it because your professional football players and coaches. Make this your Super Bowl. Everybody hates the Steelers—they're like parking tickets or having gum on your shoes; do it in the name of good fighting evil!

Outside of rah-rah rhetoric and general ballyhoo, the Bengals could and should make this game at least competitive. They are extremely familiar with the ebb and flow of the Steelers' play-calling, the strengths and weaknesses of Ben Roethlisberger, the tomfoolery of Dick LaBeau and his scheme, and the difficulties of the Heinz field wind and turf. To Cincinnati, the Steelers are the bully big-brother whose familiarity makes them less scary.

Steelers offense vs. Bengals defense

The Steelers have dealt with their fair share of injuries this year, especially along their offensive line. Big Ben himself needed his nose straightened out after the Sunday night back-ally brawl with Baltimore, and, despite his size and strength, it's just a matter of time before all the hits he invites does some serious damage to more important parts of his noggin. On the flip side, the Bengals have actually manufactured an inkling of pass rush the past couple of weeks in the form of rookies Carlos Dunlap and Geno Atkins. Dunlap is a physical specimen with nice individual pass-rush moves that have accumulated 3.5 sacks in two weeks. Atkins also has some moves and a strong motor and has disrupted more than the other defensive tackles when pressuring the quarterback so far in 2010. Mike Zimmer has prepared smart game-plans in the past against Roethlisberger; if his youngsters continue to progress and the Steeler's offensive line struggles protecting Big Ben, Pittsburgh may be surprised by their lack of production against this team.

Regardless of what kind of plays they run early on, Pittsburgh is always trying to set up the defense for a Mike Wallace deep ball. The Bengals have struggled against the big pass play all season, and had numerous breakdowns last week; it's better to allow the Steelers to inch their way down field rather than give up huge chunk plays to Wallace. The secondary must be mindful of where he roams at all times but especially when he goes deep. Since tight end Heath Miller is still recuperating from a gruesome hit that nearly removed his head in last week's game, the Steelers ball-control offense becomes even more predictable as it is likely to concentrate heavily on Hines Ward and third-down back, Mewelde Moore. If Cincinnati can keep these two men in front and make tackles when they catch passes, and keep Wallace covered deep, they can win on Sunday. Of course, limiting Rashad Mendenhall's explosive runs goes without saying, but these Bengals have a hard time not getting fried on the ground so perhaps we'd better say it after all: stop the big runs.

All in all, this offense is not as scary as its been in the past, and these Bengals have danced with these bozos plenty of times before.

Bengals offense vs. Steelers defense

Here's a news flash: The Steelers are exceptional against the run. The worst thing to do against them is attempt predictable stretch run plays on predictable running downs. The Bengals can't be forced into dangerous passing downs because they failed to move the ball running it on first and second downs. A little variety in the play-calling is absolutely necessary against the villainous mob that is the Pittsburgh defense. In their secondary lives a man with a lion's mane and a fox's instinct who can turn games around in a heartbeat. He guesses often, and often right and he will kill you if you're not careful. Troy Polomalu is a great player, and that term is not dished out lightly.

There are moments when the Bengals get into rhythm and look formidable. These moments are usually made possible thanks to a quality check-down pass to a secondary or even tertiary receiver. With the hall-of-fame threats on the outside, Cincinnati can run them deep, clear out the safeties and allow Jermaine Gresham, Jordan Shipley and Brian Leonard to work underneath on yards-after-catch conversions. On early downs, don't force the ball deep but rather dump it off to safety valves, and on third down, run routes that go past the first-down marker. This is not original thinking, but a reminder of the basics can't hurt with this team. They've been their own worst enemy all season; four quarters of a competitive offensive performance is within the realm of reasonable possibility. Limit turnovers and penalties, call plays that make more sense, and be more safe than sorry, and a game may be won. It's a bizarre take on the sport, but I think it could work.

Conclusion

There are select members of this team who know the end is near. The men gathered in the locker room next year will likely be a markedly different group and a new chapter will begin in the dark, dank annals of Bengals history. This game should mark the last great moment for a group who pulled off some unexpected highs and lows. The veterans that have been with the team throughout the Marvin Lewis-era, and even Marv himself, should lay it all out on the line for this clash against their rivals. For just one game, as fans, as players, as offensive coordinator, and as team owner, let's just pretend we're a good team and see what happens. Not a team made up of high-profile stars with big money bags and haughty reputations, but rather a team of calculated professionals hungry to turn in a hard day's work. Think it, live it, be it.

Bengals 27, Steelers 17

Mojokong—down to my last drop of optimism

Week 13 Recap: Just Oregano

Slowly we plummet through the Bengal universe.

In what has felt like a long come down from magic mushrooms, this season has been a total buzz-kill for me and my striped brethren for the past four months now. It seems the stuff we were sold last year just looks the same but has a much weaker effect on the system. We were just tricking ourselves into believing it was the same early on, but now we know that it's bogus and schwag and we want our money back, or so we say.

This past Sunday was just another bad batch of the stuff.

It started out okay, as a Bengals three and out was followed by a defensive stand that led to a Saints punt. Problem was, Cincinnati roughed the punter, and the five yards given to New Orleans was enough for field-goal range and got them a three point lead. Stupid.

Then, on their second possession, the Bengals throw to Brian Leonard on third and four, which isn't necessarily a bad idea, but the pass was thrown too far behind him and carried his momentum behind the line of scrimmage causing Leonard to end up with a five yard loss. Stupid.

On fourth and one on the Saints' five yard-line, Cedric Benson was given the hand-off, but instead of following the giant ponytail of Domata Peko to a first down, he tried bouncing it to the outside and was stuffed for a loss. El stupido.

And finally, Pat Sims. I don't even have to say it.

Though I think Pat has been blamed too much for this loss. Wanna real goat to this game? Check out Chinedum Ndukwe. The gambler was wrong on three huge pass plays; all of which led to points, including the last score of the game. Or how about Jonathan Wade who was absolutely roasted by the Saints' extra slot receiver, Robert Meachem, for a fourth-quarter touchdown. Or even Cedric Benson who has developed a case of happy feet that is preventing him from gaining the tough yards.

For a long time, I've been quite complimentary about Mr. Benson and his weekly contributions to the Bengals, but I think he's pressing too hard right now. Either he's overly worried about his upcoming free-agency, he doesn't trust his blockers, or he is being used in the wrong way. Regardless of the reason, I think he cuts back excessively, searches for holes rather than creates his own, and would rather wait for the big run than etch his way down field. Plus, he has fumbled at an alarming rate this season. Elite backs can average more than 3.5 yards-per-carry and not fumble six times in 12 games, and if your back is not elite, there's no reason to keep him. Running back is the most replaceable position on offense, and if the Bengals would simply open their eyes, they would see they already have a back that could be better on their very own roster.

Not only did Bernard Scott provide a bevy of quality kick-returns on Sunday, he also racked up 43 yards on six carries. The Bengals are in love with the stretch hand-off. Despite Carson's slow and clumsy feet, and despite their inability to get a consistent push on the outside, they refuse to give up on the stretch hand-off play. It's ridiculous, but it is less so when they run it with Scott. Benson has his moments getting the ball wide and following his sprinting line down field, but Scott changes direction much faster, has better overall field vision and is more designed for a play that takes longer to develop—like the stretch hand-off. What Scott is less effective doing is pounding the ball up the gut on straight hand-offs, but he is curiously often asked to do so anyway. If the Bengals insist on being a wide-play running team, why not give more carries to the man who does it better than anyone else on the team? Why? Because they are stupid, once again.

As for the nonsense that unfolded during the last Bengals possession, one need not look farther back than the end of the first half to find the recurring theme. With eight seconds left in the half and one time out remaining, the Bengals found themselves at mid-field with scoring aspirations on their brain. After a poorly-thrown pass to Chad Ochocinco on an out-pattern, Palmer was given no chance for a long heave to the end-zone because he was sacked. Following the botched time management at the end of the game (which is apparently too heavy for the quarterback to handle on his own), the offensive line once more failed to give enough time for a hail-mary pass. Again, this is an offense that insists on deep drops, long routes and a vertical attack. How is that possible when the quarterback never feels comfortable, especially on the last-gasp desperation throws? When the game comes down to the will of the participants and it's simply a matter of who wants it more, why is it that the other team keeps coming out on top? Why can't the Bengals muster their collective talents and efforts into just one winning performance? What in the hell is going on?

Perhaps historians will one day be able to intelligently answer these questions and more. Perhaps the answers are right before our noses but, due to our loyalty and emotional attachments, we are unable to currently admit what's really going on. Or, perhaps Mojokong is working on it in his laboratory and will soon enlighten the world with his analysis. Who knows? The fact is, close losses, dumb losses, irrelevant losses, all count as losses, and in sports, there's simply nothing worse—especially to the fan.

So, knowing me and knowing you and knowing there's only one dealer in town, I'd imagine we'll be out there again next week buying from the same dude and just hoping it gets better. Why? Because it's football and it's the Bengals, and goddammit we love them both.

Mojokong—I drink them and with them.

Week 13 Preview: Cover Your Faces

The last time the Who-Dats strolled into town to take on the Who-Deys, things were eerily similar to the present. The Saints were 9-5 and psyching themselves up for a playoff run. The Bengals were 1-13 and were left for dead on the side of the road. The weather was cold and the game was blacked out, as will be the case this Sunday too. The big story on that day in 2002 was that the Bengals were able to pull out their second win of the season, and, in the process, greatly contribute to the Saints missing the playoffs that year.

This time, the Saints are cruising once more having won their last four games and pressing hard for a playoff spot. The Bengals, of course, are suffering through an eight-game losing streak with very few bright spots anywhere on the team. The last I heard, the spread was more than a touchdown and even if Cincinnati does extend their misery streak to nine, no one seems to care much anyway.

Can they win? Of course they can; it's the NFL, anything can happen. Will they? No.

The Saints are a complete team, ranking in the top-10 in nearly every category imaginable. They do have trouble running the ball, but they throw it so well, it's hard to notice any deficiencies in their ground game. Their defense has been assembled with talented and neatly-fitting pieces, and they specialize in creating turnovers. If that weren't enough, they face a special-teams unit this Sunday who dug up strange and obscure ways to lose their game over a week ago on Thanksgiving.

There is no evidence available that leads any thinking person to conjure a reason as to why the Bengals can win, and so this week's preview is a dreary one.

Saints offense vs. Bengals defense

Drew Brees is great—everybody knows that. He has a complete handle on his offense, uses every weapon given to him, and just feels like a quality leader of men. In the limited games I've seen of the Saints this year, he still shows a very accurate passing ability, has good pocket presence and plays with a fiery, yet controlled, passion for the game. If all of that weren't enough, he gets to hear arguably the best play-caller in the game yammer into his helmet.

Head coach and offensive coordinator, Sean Payton, has a nice stable of play-makers at his helm. There are a host of receivers he can rely on to stretch the field and catch the ball. There are numerous running backs with unique abilities that compliment the offense as a whole, and a brash yet athletic tight end who seems like a Kid Rock roadie. With this kind of firepower loaded up on one team, it's no wonder they rank so high passing the ball.

The Bengals, on the other hand, are the walking wounded on defense. Thin in the secondary and up front on the line, Mike Zimmer is strapped with backups going up against such a speedy offensive assault. If his men are unable to get pressure on Brees, and the defensive backs have to chase multiple receivers around on every play, the Saints could score over 100 points in this game. Hopefully Carlos Dunlap continues to grow and gets another sack or two and limits New Orleans to more like 70 points. Despite the difficult schedule Cincinnati has struggled against this year, they haven't seen an offense of this caliber since perhaps the opening game against New England and are likely to get blown out early once more.

Bengals offense vs. Saints defense

Since I expect Cincinnati to play from behind, they probably won't have the luxury of establishing any kind of run. Carson Palmer will have to drop back to pass time and again and hope his protection holds up for his receivers to run all the way down field. Since this team seems incapable of playing a short, west-coast kind of offensive attack, they are likely to heave long bombs into coverage and hope for the best. This philosophy has not proven effective enough to win games this season, but still they persist at going about their business in the same useless style. I expect Terrell Owens to maybe pull down a long pass and pad his meaningless stats a bit more, but in general, I would count on at least two or more interceptions, a host of sacks, and an out-of-hand score by the third quarter.

The Bengals game plan doesn't change and neither does the outcome of their games. They're a team led by men who insist that their way of football is the only way to go and no one is going to convince them of anything different. If they had the ability to adjust, they would have by now, but it simply has not and will not happen with the same individuals in charge. I wish I could paint a more optimistic picture on the situation, but the facts speak for themselves.

Conclusion

Maybe the Bengals will show up, play their best game of the season and treat the less-than-capacity crowd to their third win, one better than 2002. Maybe the coaches will finally get it and try a new approach to the game, and maybe Paul Brown Stadium will transform into a spaceship and whisk its inhabitants to an underwater planet ruled by the Crab People.
If this happened, admit it, you'd buy tickets to Paul Brown Stadium

Anything is possible, I suppose. Still, I have to predict the future with reason and logic and that's why I see none of these things taking place this Sunday.

Saints 48, Bengals 3

Mojokong—what's it matter?

Week 12 Recap: Thanks For Nothing

The eighth loss in a row came about in predictable fashion. As a fan grizzled in frustration, it was disconcerting to simply wait for the fatal mistake to unfold like a movie everyone has seen before. Norman Bates edges to the shower, knife in hand, tears open the shower curtain and kills his victim with horrendous special-teams play. Oh the horror!

Really, it's what we all knew would happen. Tucked away behind huge rationalizations and justifications as to why the Bengals might beat the Jets, lived the truth. This was the worst record against the best—one team figures out new ways to win, while the other figures out the opposite. It was a no-brainer. This losing streak has been one long toilet flush that swirled its way gone for good on Thanksgiving night.

Even though the offense looked punked from the get-go, the defense played the kind of game that should have at least kept things close. That would have been the case had the special teams not decided that it was their turn to lose a game. Not only did the Bengals manage to miss a 28-yard field goal kicked by some schlepp off the street (I've seen Chad kick a better ball than that; give him a chance), and allow a kick-return touchdown ran by a man with one shoe, Andre Caldwell somehow fumbled by getting hit in the face by a punt without realizing it! What is happening here? Don't these people get paid?

I can go into how Carson Palmer is still throwing passes to hall-of-fame receivers when he should be throwing to lesser-known safety valves, or of how turnovers are notorious with losing teams, or of how the defense and offense can't put together a decent game between the two of them, but who cares? This team would rather “work harder” running the same practices and emphasizing the same things, then to switch up philosophy and approach to the game in the middle of the season. The brain-trust has failed us, yet they refuse to admit their mistakes. Watching them is like playing with a broken toy; it's predictably lame.

So instead, I would like to complain that the Bengals didn't wear their throwback uniforms. I don't expect the Wizard of Oz to ever pay for throwbacks—that would be lunacy!—but if ever a guy can hope for such a thing, it's when that guy's team is awarded a Thanksgiving game. Sadly, it wasn't to be. Instead, my hometown team comes out of the tunnel with the same garish ensemble they've been trotting out since 2004. I liked the predecessor of the current overdone ensemble; the Jon Kitna jersey of that era was just fine. Teams needn't all the stripes everywhere with accents and highlights throughout. They look ridiculous. The 70's Bengals gear is awesome. I don't care if it does looks like Cleveland. It's tough and it reminds me of slow-motion Bengal action shot in very cold weather. Maybe if Mike Brown dressed his team in more basic clothing, they would feel less like superstars and more like football players. It's been seven years of these trendy, bullshit uniforms. Like the personnel changes I long for to take place this offseason, let's go with an image change too—literally speaking.

So there you have it. A recap that's more spirited about the team's uniform than the team itself. If this group decides to do anything really worth taking note of, I will include it in these ramblings. Otherwise, I may have to go into detail about the team's mascot and cheerleaders next.


Mojokong—misses his team.