Did you hear something?

For a mediocre team that nobody really likes, the Bengals sure do get a lot of national press during the off-season. Most of it this year is due to the Flavor-flav of the NFL, Chad Johnson, who America just can’t get enough of. Perhaps that’s an improvement over the stream of arrests and botched free-agent signings we’re used to reading about, but it’s still cause for embarrassment.

Chad has proven impossible for the world to ignore, even though his words are without substance or meaning and his attention-getting tactics resemble those of a self-conscious six-year-old. Like a washed-up celebrity clinging to a career through a crappy reality TV show, we as his audience are subjected to reading reports of Chad covering his head with a towel and drinking water during minicamp. Riveting!

This kind of stale sensationalism shouldn’t have a place in professional sports. Paparazzi should focus on bored royalty and Hollywood sluts, but instead prowl around practice fields waiting for Chad to do something really crazy like run routes.

But, they’re only doing their jobs. We as readers and viewers, gobble up the scraps of mundane information, and in doing so, arm Chad with the feeling of significance he so desperately seeks. If the “market” of media collectively shrugged their shoulders and asked “Who cares?”, what options would Chad have then? If a tree falls in the woods and no one hears it, does it make noise? If a whiny receiver complains and no one listens, does it matter what he says?

Mojokong - The Yawning Yogi