The Amnesia of '08

Well, it’s over. Can’t say it’s been a good ride, really; we never even got off of the ground. The team mustered the gumption to return itself to the hanger after stalling on the runway, and ‘round here, we see that as a step in the right direction. Sad but true.

But we should be happy, right? Finishing a respectable 4-3-1 in the season’s second half is picking ourselves up from the mat and finishing the fight. The city, the fans, the team can go around patting each other’s backs and drinking themselves into a New Year’s haze. We’re aren’t the worst team after all, eureka!!

The Cincinnati Enquirer’s Dustin Dow struck a nerve in Marvin Lewis when he asked the coach if the meaningless success in a lost season masks the inefficiencies of the organization as a whole. Perhaps Dow had hit too close to home for Marvin. For a person in stubborn denial, the truth is often the last thing they want to hear. But the question was asked because we’ve all read this script before. Cincinnati has a knack for trumping up enthusiasm for the future, based on late-season improvements which only serve to keep us out of last place. How many years must I spend muttering the worn-out, old phrase, “Just wait til next year”?

Next year will be Marvin’s seventh with this team. It will be young and inexperienced, and likely immature and emotional. Half the players invited to training camp will be returning from injured reserve and plenty of the veterans will not be asked back for another go around. Expectations and optimism will be minimal heading into a what seems to be a permanent phase of mediocrity.

Carson’s elbow is the perfect built-in excuse for that expected mediocrity of ‘09. Unfortunately, he is the keystone to the entire Bengal operation which will not operate correctly, if at all, without him. Carson has proven that he can be magnificent when everything around him is exactly in order, but sprinkle even a dash of the unexpected in the mix, and the man panics. The team crumbles around his inability to improvise and seasons are lost. All those Eagle’s fans who scream for McNabb’s head don’t know how nice they have it with a guy like that. Carson would be torn limb-from-limb in Philly, and would probably have an emotional meltdown.

A common symptom of a failed season is when many of the younger players see more playing time than anyone expected. Thanks to a plague of injuries and generally miserable play, rookies like Pat Sims, Andre Caldwell, and Anthony Collins were able to showcase themselves as possible starters for next year. Chris Perry ran himself into the ground, which gave the misplaced Cedric Benson a chance at a career again. Benson showed he’s at least capable of carrying the load if called upon. A complimentary speed back – maybe DeDe Dorsey – would relieve some pressure from Benson and the offensive line.

Fitzpatrick proved that he is definitively a back-up quarterback, but not a bad one. He struggled at times, but unquestionably improved throughout the season. Some of his late success was aided by improved playcalling from Bratkowski and the gelling of the second-string offensive line, but the accuracy on his throws became more consistent and his pocket presence increased over the last four games or so. It will be interesting to see if another team lures him in free agency, promising him a chance to start.

As for the o-line (perhaps this blog’s most thoroughly discussed aspect of the Bengals), it seemed the back-ups were better than the starters. Collins had some difficulty against some elite pass-rushers, but held his own against others, Livings didn’t appear to make many mistakes and Roland played well in his only start against the Chiefs. This is still an area of major concern, but it’s nice to know that some depth with decent young players already exists within that unit. If the Bengals are able to add another tackle and a new center, this line could be at least decent again by next year. Paul Alexander(offensive line coach), the whole world is watching.

Mike Brown is poised to make a statement this off-season. The pressure by fans and media has been adquately applied for him to beef up the scouting and general management departments in the organization. If he complies, we will stand there, mouths agape, and applaud Mr. Brown’s commitment to winning . If he “stays the course”, turns his back on competitive business practice and spends his time counting our tax dollars and eating Burger King, then we will have no choice but to storm the river banks and burn Paul Brown Stadium to the ground. Which message will you send, Mr. Brown? Choose wisely.

Mojokong - Happy Frigin’ New Year!

Things I've Learned From the '08 Season

Never bet against Peyton Manning:

The guy needs very little around him to win games. No run game? No problem. Soft defense? No problem. I’ve grown weary of the Patriots, Colts, Steelers, Chargers playoff party, and it looks like three of those teams will be back again this year (I have very little faith in Denver beating San Diego Sunday night). Without Mr. Brady, the Patriots were asked to give up their customary playoff armchair near the fire, but not without putting up quite a fight for it. The Colts stumbled early in the season and I pounced on the opportunity to write off Indy as “past their prime”, comparing their decline to that of the Bengals. How foolish of me.

Out of sheer bullheadedness, I predict that the Colts will have a hard time against a physically superior team, even the Ravens, but with Peyton at the controls and a mean pass rush to boot, the Colts could beat anybody their matched up with.

The two-back system works:

Power running teams that employed two or more backs, seemed able to sustain their dominance throughout the season, rather than watch their productivity peak at any specific point. There are some who think that Tennessee has peaked too early and are destined to be knocked out by either the fashionable Steelers or Colts in the playoffs. Even after beating the Steelers in Nashville, without Haynesworth or Vandenbosch, the Titans are considered by many the third most likely team to make the Super Bowl from the AFC. While LeBeau can out-scheme damn near anybody, the Titans could shock the world after posting the best record in their conference. Funny how that works.

The Giants could become the third team ever to have two backs rush for 1,000 yard seasons, and even sprinkle in a third back, Bradshaw, when they really want to pour it on. Carolina has two explosive backs who break off big chunks of yardage when they get in rhythm with an underrated offensive line.

First-round teams like the Dolphins and Ravens don’t allow much finesse in their games either. Their both hard-nosed teams that will give any of those other playoff contenders a bare-knuckled fist-fight in a back ally somewhere. The Dolphins got a little zany with their two-back approach with the Wildcat formation, while the Ravens found out McClain is bigger than the opposition and is apparently, a real pain in the ass to have to tackle 20 times a game. He, and the occasionally healthy Willis McGahee, not to mention a dash of Ray Rice, wear out defenses and chew up the clock. On both teams, the quarterback is the secondary focus to the offense, taking pressure off of the noodle-armed journeyman Chad Pennington, and the calm rookie, Joe Flacco.

Most teams really do peak throughout the season:

The Buffalo Bills tricked me this season. They beat some lame competition, ran off to a great start, and seized early control of the AFC East. I liked the way they looked on paper (when am I going to see a Bills game?), so I jumped on the bandwagon, talking smack and placing bets along the way. The played a couple of real teams and crumbled like bleu cheese. All of a sudden the Bills’ torch had blown out, and they stumbled around blindly in the wilderness the rest of the season.

Tampa Bay rolled off a few wins in a row and found themselves in a showdown for the division in Carolina. The Bucs, traditionally a defensive powerhouse, wilted against DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart, and they haven’t been able to stop the run since. Garcia is a seasoned veteran who is no stranger to the playoffs, but the offense around him is not good enough to win without a commanding defensive presence on the other side of the ball.


Mojokong – learning something new.

Sputtering Acoss the Finish Line

Like a long cart ride to the gallows, the 2008 season promises to come to an end Sunday for the hapless Bengals. The irrelevance bowl will be played out amongst a light sprinkling of fans, many of whom have never been to an NFL game. Good for them.

A win against the Chiefs means the Bengals will have gone 3-3-1 in their last seven games and plenty of fans will line up to tell you how bad that is for this franchise. Mr. Brown has historically used irrelevant, late-season success as an excuse to shy away from making changes in his personnel and scouting departments. Hopefully -- and I’m not holding my breath here -- the act has become old hat to the fans, and maybe they’ll finally see through the shenanigan this time. It’d be nice to think that the home games won’t sell out next year, sending the message to Brown that we’ve had it with the losing and the lack of a competitive product, but, unfortunately, that’s just living in a dream world.

Maybe winning isn’t so bad. The lack of it is what has made this season so awful. Also, we would end up with the seventh pick or so, where we could take Maualuga at that spot without “reaching” for him. Some may think that using the first pick on a linebacker isn’t addressing the team’s biggest need, which is the offensive line, but a play-making middle linebacker who complimented Rivers in college would turn this defense from a C+ to a B- right away. I’d rather take a no-risk pick like Maualuga than try out the third best tackle in the draft just because we need one. Filling roster holes with the first pick is dangerous. Picking the best player available – who can still start right away – is the way to go about acquiring marquee players that a team can build their future upon.

I’ve read that the Bengals, and presumably other NFL teams, break the season up into four game sections to reevaluate their roster and schemes. You can see how the play-calling has improved over the last quarter of the season, allowing lineman to pull on sweeps, delays and off-tackle runs and find blocks out in space. This has resulted in a running game that, at times, feels legit. Any time Fitzpatrick can limit his day to nine pass attempts, something is working. Benson too has proven himself capable of handling heavy workloads when called upon. With a reasonable price tag expected next season, Benson should return to the team to at least compete for a starting spot in camp.

Stacy Andrews blowing out his knee may turn out to be a positive for the Bengals. Offensive tackles are a well-paid position in this league. One that can point to a full season of service and is young with limited injury concerns would command at least $5 million a year on the open market. One with a severe knee injury, who gave up a lot of sacks and never looked great, will have to rely on an excellent agent to get them that same contract. If Andrews returns, he might not be 100 percent for camp and will certainly not be guaranteed a starting job. While he would help add depth to the line when he does recuperate, there’s no reason to overpay a guy like that. A high draft pick would be a better bargain thanks largely to that player’s potential upside. Stacy Andrews came into the league as a shot-put and hammer thrower. This year, the coaching staff stood back and admired their finished project, and announced him the replacement of an aging legend. Not good enough, sirs. The experiment proved average at best, and long-time offensive line coach, Paul Alexander, is now under intense Mojokong scrutiny because of such a letdown. Andrews quickly surpassed Justin Smith as the worst franchise-player ever this year, remarkably from the same team in consecutive seasons. Could this be yet another indication that this franchise is being led into the ground? Probably, yes.

Cincinnati is playing well right now and I think we carry that into this week. If the defense can stop, or more appropriately, contain Larry Johnson, I think they can force Thigpen into a pick or two. Look for the Bengals to try a long play-action pass early in the game after refusing to pass at all in the second half in Cleveland. Chris Henry will get another score this week, as will Ndukwe. Week 17 lends itself to wild predictions.

Bengals 23, Chiefs 20

Mojokong — Santa hates the Bengals.

The Century Mark

How gracious of the Bengals to get a win in preparation for the 100th Bengals blog.

An inexperienced team with a first-year coach, a young quarterback and a pair of missing starting tackles allowed for the Skins to overlook the lowly Bengals on the road, and now they’re leaving the playoff party, and being laughed at on their way out. Even the Eagles, hovering by the door, get a chuckle out of seeing Washington escorted out by their own humiliation. Suckers.

Cincinnati did some nice things early on. The offensive line played well out in space on sweeps and the long screen play to Benson. Ghiaciuc and Stacy Andrews, a couple of lineman who live in Mojokong’s doghouse, did a few things right on Sunday. Bratkowski made logical attempts at playcalling early on, but again, freaked out with a lead and resorted to the tired list of predictable plays we’ve suffered through all season. Our lineman are best in the open field, pulling and finding people to block. What they aren’t, is a bulldozing bunch who can push defensive lines backward. Against Washington the Bengals played to their strength and success ensued. This is the only way Marvin Lewis’ team can “establish the run” until he gets stronger interior lineman, particularly at center. Anthony Collins has had some rough times in his debut season, but he’s as capable as Stacy Andrews at tackle and better already than the physically and emotionally broken Levi Jones. Drafting left tackle sensation, Andre Smith and moving Collins to right tackle, letting Andrews walk or sign for back up money – which will never happen – and cutting Levi makes a lot of sense to me. But then again, making sense is something we as fans have learned to live without.

Defensively, I thought the Bengals looked pretty tough and aggressive for a unit missing six of its starters. Zimmer’s intelligence and value to the team has shined through the heavy mist of misery this year. After giving up over 30 points two weeks in a row – when it appeared all motivation had evaporated – they came out and dragged down a staggering offense to its knees. The goal line stand that resulted in a turnover was the surprise left hook that just might have ended Jim Zorn’s brief head coaching career.

The defense, on paper, looks promising for the future. We have a couple of young tackles (Sims, Peko), a pair of overpriced ends we’re all just going to have to live with (Geathers, Odom), a building block linebacker(Rivers), two first round corners who get better each season (Joseph, Hall), and two hard-hitting safeties (white, Ndukwe), all in their twenties. More young talent at linebacker is an immediate need for Zimmer to complete his puzzle heading into next season. Defense is the one area I think our team shows competence.

Next week’s game is worth getting fired up over. Cleveland is as awful as we are, they beat us in Week 2, and...it’s the Browns, what more does it take during a lost season to provoke a little emotion? Since we’re guaranteed a top-5 pick in the upcoming draft, these next two games – both very winnable – can be viewed without the internal conflict between your team’s success and a nice draft slot.

The problem with wins at the end of the season for a bad team is that ownership always points to that as a reason to be encouraged for next season. As if it’s a movie trailer, previewing the excitement that awaits Bengal fans in 2009. Ownership and management use phrases like “hang our hat on” when asked about late meaningless wins, and defend their job production on these victories. Another lame statement made by coaches especially, is that “the players didn’t give up”. Even fans buy into this one. I feel like too much credit is given to coaches on bad teams whose players appear to still give their full effort in the face of a defeated season. That’s what they’re paid to do. It should be expected of them.

Even if the wins at the end of the season result in Mike Brown defending his product as passable, it’s still nice to see my team win. After all, sports, even the Bengals, only exist for our entertainment.

Bengals 24, Browns 17



Mojokong – Speeding along with a cracked odometer.

The Suicide Channel

The best thing Levi Jones can do for this team before he catches the first train outta here in 2009, is to get Anthony Collins drunk and talk him down off of the ledge. Levi has experienced first hand the chaos Dwight Freeney creates, and should be an expert by now at coping with sacks. AC was schooled (like the kids from the ‘90s used to say) on a variety of moves from Freeney and demonstrated how much stronger the rookie must become. I could do my best Geoff Hobson imitation and put a positive spin on it, say something like ‘at least he’s learning all of this now when it doesn’t matter’, but really, when will it matter?

The air never inflated the Bengal balloon to begin with, but now a dog has eaten the balloon and it’s going to take weeks for it to pass. The rare speck of light Fitzy flashed this season has been swallowed into this black hole and it appears he’s somehow getting even worse. Chris Henry has been utterly useless this season as well, and looks a little worse every week himself. We’ve been beaten 69-6 in the last two games and we officially look like a football scene from One Flew Over the Cookoo’s Nest. There aren’t words to capture just how bad it’s become. There aren’t words.

Mojokong - 16 black Sundays.

The Monster Speaks

A little, old tyrant who lives in a tower and chortles over his gold, invited a few writers up to grace them with his rarely heard insight and wisdom. Reading the reports of that meeting made all the demons I’ve pretended not to notice, flood out like an opened Ghost Busters trap. The disheartening excuses for failure and the promises of maintaining the current staff, make a Bengals fan want to shop for a new team.

The excuse this miserly scrooge coughed up for the immense failures of 2008, was, predictably, Carson Palmer’s injured elbow:

“This thing would take a quantum leap forward if we just had Carson Palmer back on the field playing the way he can play. We built our team with the assumption that he would be out there as our quarterback.”

There are so many things wrong with this statement, it’s hard to find a starting point.

First off, a well balanced team can survive an injury to even their best player. Secondly, the Bengals have relied on an obsolete passing game for a while now, that had shown its struggles in the last half of the 2007 season. Palmer came into the year with no health concerns and showed us a clumsy offense who looked determined to set a franchise record for punts in a season. This organization can no longer hide it’s ineptitude behind Carson’s greatness because he isn’t great. He once looked it, but that was when the Bengals caught the league by surprise which has since then completely worn off. Guys, wearing the divisional champs shirt from three years ago just isn’t cool anymore - it’s like being stuck in the ‘80s.

Next, the writers asked the tyrant about the job security of the current coaching staff:

“I'm not going to say anything other than they are the same people that have been here for years now and they've been good years and years that weren't so good. But they're the same. They coach the same. They're teachers. They do their jobs as teachers, the same as they did before this year. I don't criticize them for how they teach.”

The sameness is the problem. Perhaps their teaching methods can remain the same, but the content must fluidly adapt to the current trends of the NFL. Innovation makes great coaches, not drills and practices. Any dumbbell can coach, but it’s the non-traditional that go down in history. The tyrant is telling the world how good years and bad years are the same in his mind. How the seasons go by, sometimes we win games, mostly we lose them, but the profit margin stays mostly the same. That’s unfortunately the only sameness that matters to him.

And Marvin?:

“In many ways he's done an incredibly good job. Our players still try hard and that's hard to come by when you go through all the losing this team has gone through. But he has them out there trying to the best of their abilities. At least in my eye. And on this point my eye counts.”

Do you see the standards this man has for his employees? Just try. It doesn’t matter what happens, just try. Try to make it to practice, try out last week’s game plan and if you’re up to it, try to get a win Sunday. No big whoop either way.

The writers couldn’t bear anymore of this nonsense, so they asked about a player everyone likes, T.J. Houshmandzedah:

“He's a tremendous competitor. He's the one player that has played to his previous level this year. We've talked with his people but haven't been able to reach ground that both of us accepted. It's going to be a question of money and we'll find out in the off-season if it's a deal we can make or not.”

That doesn’t sound hopeful. But if we can’t make a deal, we could always franchise tag him right?

“I don't want to get into what we're going to do there yet. That's something we don't have to decide on for a couple of months. In all honesty we haven't focused on it or made a decision on it.”

Haven’t focused on it? What have you been focusing on...the season? After Sunday our record should be 1-11-1. Our record will look like an X-Wing! Is that what all this focus leads to? An X-Wing? Aaagghh!!!

Colts 78, Bengals 6

Mojokong - done gone mad.

Locking Us Out

Baltimore just wants to get this thing over with. They have important business to tend to, like scrapping their way to a divisional title. The Ravens host Washington and then Pittsburgh after they clear the Bengals from their path. They’d like nothing more than to come into Cincinnati, put a quick sleeper hold on the Bengals, then jump back on the plane to prepare for real football teams. If our boys have anything going for them this weekend, it’s that Baltimore really doesn’t want to be here.

The Steelers took all the fun out of that three week undefeated streak - a win, a bye and a tie - and now we can again feel that icy draft of misery we experience when our team leaves the door open. The reality of a two or three win season is taking shape once again. After the most loyal of us thought we’d gained some footing, the free-fall seems to have returned. Bummer.

No, you say? Still have hope, faith and good spirits about what’s going on at that Rumpke heap of smelly football debris piled along the riverbanks? Well then, there’s this.

Jonathan Joseph became the 13th Bengal to go on injured reserve, our defensive end situation looks like a scene from MASH, and the offensive line is still trying to learn to survive. Our offense drives like a Yugo with a busted transmission, the rushing attack was inspired by My First Running Play by Playskool ® (one of Brat’s favorite childhood toys), and the only reason a receiver runs more than 20 yards is for exercise. Honestly, I don’t know why we bother.

And if all of that wasn’t enough to make a fan get silly with dangerous drugs or firearms, there’s Carson threatening to have surgery after all. He’s spent the last two months slowly allowing the possibility of surgery to seep into his Bengalitis-ridden cranium, and now he says if he isn’t ready to go by December 7th, he’s going under.

You know what that means, of course? It means that he won’t be 100 percent by training camp. We’ll be overprotective of him during the preseason, he won’t get that precious timing with the receivers that he’s always going on about, and the Bengals will suffer through yet another bad start to the season. And all will once again, be lost before it begins. It’s as if the organization purposefully embeds excuses into their misguided decisions. Like a blank doctor’s excuse that can be used whenever the water gets too hot.

If the Bengals seriously draft a wide receiver after Housh signs with Seattle or some other team next year, I will quit following this team.

Ravens 19, Bengals 8

Mojokong - I took that picture with my phone.

Tears of Laughter

What fools! The Bengals did their best Wile E. Coyote imitation, walking right into the trap LaBeau purchased from Acme this week . He bated us with an early touchdown into thinking that we found a crack in Pittsburgh’s design and we still haven’t realized the error in our ways.

“We can make adjustments when we’re dead. Right now we have a football game to win,” says Marvin’s logic. Or maybe Brat’s - it doesn’t matter. Nor does the outcome of last night’s yawn of a game. There were no surprises, no drama. It was Goliath effortlessly suffocating David in the sand. No big whoop.

The one interesting note of the night, however, was of Anthony Collins and Nate Livings making their NFL debut in a setting comparable to Helms Deep. The rookies held up surprisingly well and raise questions about the future of this offensive line.



As an astute mailman once pointed out to me, Levi Jones has never been the same since he was attacked by Joey Porter’s goons in Vegas. His health has been a consistent concern (though he has played games under some severe circumstances), and quite frankly, he’s slow. There are some who feel that Levi has never been that special and hasn’t deserved his previous pro-bowl consideration or the contract extensions he’s been offered. I won’t belabor the point about the ruinous decision of releasing Willie any longer, but since we all have to live with that mistake, does it not make sense to continue without Levi as well?

Now is an opportunity to test drive Collins as our starting left tackle. Next we host Baltimore, another gritty 3-4 defense that will apply some heat on the youngster. Might as well throw him into the flames while we’re irrelevant.

Another mildly encouraging sign is the play of Andre Caldwell. All I want this year for Christmas is for him to become the replacement for Glen Holt. Caldwell has shown that he can potentially return kicks and run decent routes, while Holt has shown us how to fumble kickoffs and drop passes. One would think the transition of the two would be a no-brainer, but that is specifically what’s wrong with this franchise: it too is a no-brainer.

I thought our only attempt at the wildcat formation was the perfect example of how we do things around here. We line up Cedric Benson - not the proven open field runner, Kenny Watson, or the sometimes flashy Chris Perry - in the shotgun, Daniel Coates - a man who couldn’t out maneuver a garbage can - next to Benson and Fitzpatrick - sadly, the most dangerous of the three - split out wide. Now that’s comedy. And the result? A four yard run up the gut. Man, are we hilarious sometimes or what?


Mojokong - Why is our media asking John Thornton about Chad Johnson?

LeBeau the Terrible

The Pittsburgh Steeler defense is not a gang. We Americans like to label groups of ruffians or hooligans as gangs. No sir, these guys dressed in black and gold, accented with an occasional blood splatter, are more of a band of tactical assassins. They may appear as dangerously reckless thugs who are aching to unleash their hostility on the closest adversary, but the real danger lies in the precision of their attack. At the helm of this methodical butchery, sitting quietly and hardly noticed behind a steel curtain, is a small, withered man in his seventies devising a blitz scheme that will someday bring the world to its knees. He is Dick LeBeau and he may be the most important man in the NFL.

LeBeau has lurked around the league for five decades, picking up pieces of his master plan here and there along the way. He is more than an innovator because his experiments are never complete. He devises a great and horrific zone blitz, tests it out on unfortunate subjects like the Bengals, and carefully catalogs the severe repercussions it has on ailing offenses. Not only that, but a useful byproduct of his weaponry is the intimidation and the destruction of morale an entire city can feel for generations.

And what better place for an evil headquarters where LeBeau can work undisturbed than Pittsburgh? A place that has historically produced so much gridiron carnage that Hans Blix might wanna take a peak behind that famous curtain of theirs. In the mid 90's, he showed off his new zone blitz that football people everywhere agreed was potentially catastrophic. He used outside linebackers Kevin Greene and Greg Lloyd as pass-rushing cruise missals, while employing the biggest middle-linebacker in recent memory, Levon Kirkland (280 lbs.), as a roaming run-stuffer with shoulder pads the size of sewer lids. They had more than teeth, they had venom. And it nearly produced a Super Bowl in 1995, falling short to a legandary Cowboys team.

Meanwhile, offensive coordinators everywhere pulled all-nighters inside the bowels of football arenas, staring blankly at chalkboards, trying to look “outside-the-box” on ways to counter this recent threat posed by LeBeau’s henchman. Once they finally crawled out into the sunlight, convinced they’d come up with a solution, to their horror, they saw that LaBeau had been working too, and that now he’d changed everything on them overnight. No longer were the outside linebackers needed to collect sacks. Instead, blitzes came from any and every player, and opposing coaches went stark raving mad trying to keep pace. The Steelers lost a tough game to another legendary team, this time to the Denver Broncos, in the 1997 AFC Conference game, 24-21.

Then something strange happened: LeBeau came here to Cincinnati. Perhaps he wanted a challenge, or maybe he had to prove something to himself. Maybe he just needed a change of scenery (though Cincinnati looks a lot like Pittsburgh), I don’t know. Whatever the reason, it didn’t work out. LeBeau couldn’t work in this environment. He lacked resources and was constantly interupted by a meddlesome owner. The success that seemed to manifest on its own for him in Pittsburgh, wasn’t happening in Cincinnati. Then, when finally he started getting results with his defense, Mike Brown appointed him as head coach upon Bruce Coslet’s abrupt departure, forcing Dick to focus on a broader task at hand, and failing miserably (12-33 as head coach).

Gone, but never far, LaBeau returned to the Steelers where they handed him back the keys to the laboratory where he previously made magic. LaBeau rolled up his sleeves and wasted little time in returning the Steeler defense to their ruthless ways of old. They’ve ranked as a top-10 defense - and first overall twice - since then.

It’s no different this year: number one in both rushing and passing defense, first in sacks, and allowing 15 points-per-game, good for second in the league. LeBeau has gone retro and returned to the ‘95 model of his scheme, now with LaMarr Woodley (9.5 sacks) and James Harrison (12) as his cruise missals. Not to mention that X-Men character of a strong safety, Troy Polamalu, stalking around the secondary like a predator on the plains of the Serengeti. Now with the Bengals lining up Thursday night weakened at left tackle due to injuries to Levi and Whitowrth, LaBeau is whipping his troops into a bloodthirsty frenzy, promising them the mayhem they crave.

I hope it rains that night in Pittsburgh. It would be a fitting addition to the cinematic horror we should all watch unfold. All we can hope for is that no one ends up seriously injured.

Damn you, LeBeau!!! We’ll get you someday!

Steelers 22, Bengals 6

Mojokong - To all bounty hunters: A favorable reward is offered for either of Hines Ward’s legs.

Let Off the Hook

The tie that left every baffled observer to wonder how such a gentlemanly ending is possible in this testosterone-charged sport was exactly the kind of ending the coaching staff strives for each week. They call plays in hopes of not losing. If they tell you they had planned to win that game, they’re lying.

Some examples:

Inside three minutes in the third quarter, Bengals ahead 13-10 with the ball on the Philadelphia 33, facing a fourth-and-16, what do they do? Three plays earlier in the drive, Whitworth left the game with a high ankle sprain. The following play resulted in a sack which put them in that difficult fourth down conundrum in the first place. What did they do? They went for it. And failed.

Can Shayne Graham not make a 50 yard field goal? Was it the wind? How about Kyle Larson? You can’t tell me he isn’t incapable of punting it short because we’ve witnessed him muff plenty of them over the season. How about a pooch-punt? Do we even practice this stuff? Going for it makes the least sense of all the possibilities one can conjure up.

Now we’re in overtime and the Bengals are actually driving. After two crappy run calls up the gut for- you guessed it - a minimal gain, Cincinnati is looking at third-and-seven on the Eagles 47 yard line. Fitzpatrick has looked good throwing out of the shotgun since his two-minute drill touchdown drive before halftime. Only this time, we’re not in the shotgun and Kenny Watson is in the backfield for the first time all game. What do we do this time? Naturally, a toss play for no gain. And then punt...in overtime!!?

Not to worry. With the defense playing like the ‘85 Bears and the Eagles punter kicking like he’s been paid off to throw the game, we get the ball back at the Eagle’s 41 yard line with time ticking down. Still throwing well out of the shotgun (plus a questionable roughing the passer call), Fitzpatrick finds his team at a comfy 29 yard line and nestling into decent field goal range. Still, we could use another eight to 12 yards to feel better about our chances. After all, the coaching staff couldn’t believe in Graham’s leg at 50 yards, so why would they feel confident at 48? What do we do? We run up the gut for zero yards. Graham trots onto the field, kicks....wide right, and no one goes home happy.

So now we’re at the post-game press conference with Marvin Lewis. The local media asks their usual stupid and pointless questions, like how it feels to finish a game tied, or ask him to comment on the play of newcomers Chris Crocker and Pat Sims. Then, finally, someone addresses the decision to run on third and seven in overtime, and all Marvin does is confirm that, “Yes, that was the play that was called.” The rest of the reporters take the hint and move on to more pointless inquiries about if he thought Rucker was in the end zone on his fumble recovery or ask him to talk about what a great game Housh had.

Where’s the media pressure put on a smiling, sarcastic, and most importantly, losing head coach? How does Lewis get off the hook without answering the tough questions? Why are the professionals who write the articles, blogs and columns about this godforsaken franchise constantly skating around the real issues at hand?

Marvin condescends the Cincinnati media like naive children and they all sit there and take it. It’s no wonder he feels so secure up there on the podium, defending his decision making that has put this team in the hunt for worst franchise in professional sports. One of the necessary roles the media is supposed to fulfill is of a watchdog to the injustices in the systems they write about - whether it be in politics, business practice, and yes, even in sports.

Big ups to who-dey revolution for taking matters into their own hands by instigating and apparently accomplishing a concession boycott of Paul Brown Stadium yesterday. Here is a grassroots organization who is making national headlines by taking a stand against a despotic owner who only has his own financial interest in mind.. I encourage all to join the revolution

Mojokong - swimming in piss and vinegar

Allow Me To Dampen Your Enthusiasm, And Eat Your Brains

So how’s it going to be?

Expecting big things Sunday from the jalopy that’s parked in the giant, circular building along the riverbanks? Still riding the wave of relief of the first win that washed over the city two weeks ago? Or, are you considering maybe swallowing a xanax tomorrow morning to hopefully forget the oncoming onslaught you foresee swooping into Paul Brown Stadium?

As for me, well, I’m no dummy. Last game only helped prevent the Bengals from having their league membership revoked for next season. We at least beat somebody, which, sadly, is more than Detroit can say. And while I won’t necessarily rely on anxiety medication to get me through a likely dreary day best spent in and out of consciousness and doing laundry, I will, in fact, prepare for a gruesome three-hour ass-kicking by one very jaded Eagles squad. The tough loss to the Giants Sunday night didn’t hurt them, it just really pissed them off. They were bullied by a divisional rival at home, and now their looking to exert authority over the closest object in reach, (gulp) us.

But screw it, right? Abusing the Bengals is like defacing a tree stump. They’re zombies who have been dead for a while, but annoyingly keep getting back up after you’ve shot them a couple of times. It’s not going away until New Years and all that can be gained now is scaring a few teams, and, hopefully, turn a few into zombies with us.

It’s alright if you no longer care what happens. After all, you still have a life to lead. But there are some of us sadomasochists who can’t turn away from the gore and the violence, no matter what. And when we get even a morsel of victory, it feeds the addiction for a couple more weeks. It’s sick and depraved, and arguably a waste of time, but like I said, screw it, right?

On to the game.

McNabb reminds me of Rothlesburger in the facts that they're both hard to tackle and both seem almost better, or at least more comfortable, when flushed out of the pocket. McNabb doesn’t mind scrambling for first downs and isn’t one to slide if he doesn’t feel his life’s in danger. He’s got a better-than-average offensive line (zero sacks against a strong Giants pass rush), and can see receivers get open down field from another zip code. The Bengals’ pass rush needs to make it count when they’re lucky enough to get a hand on him. With no pressure put on McNabb, he likely ends up the fantasy football stud of Week 11.

Brian Westbrook is an enigmatic player that defenses have been trying to figure out his whole pro career. He can catch, he can run, he can block, he can return kicks if that’s what you need (this won’t happen tomorrow, I’m just sayin’). Zimmer would be smart to look at how the Giants kept him to 26 yards on 13 carries. The Bengals have nowhere near the personnel Giants’ defensive coordinator Steve Spagnola enjoys, but a solid game plan is worth emulating if its proven to work in the past. As pretty much always, I’d blitz often and hope that an inexperienced receiving corps doesn’t kill us. Plug the gaps with blitzers against the run and emphasize to those who are not, how important covering the tight ends and tailbacks will be. If you blitz, you gotta live with someone alone in man-to-man coverage, and for tomorrow’s scheme, that means leaving our pair of first-round corners on islands against the so-so Philly receivers. It’s a gamble of sorts, but again, screw it.

On offense, nothing changes. Stick with the West Coast scheme of a lot of short passes and delayed hand offs. Neutralize the blood thirsty blitz scheme of mad scientist and defensive coordinator, Jim Jones, and his number one gun, local star, Trent Cole, with the three to five step drops that Fitzpatrick fell into a rhythm with last week. Benson looks comfortable getting the ball in his hands a moment after the line has shown what its going to do, as opposed to running with his head down into the mash of the two lines fighting for supremacy - a la Rudi Johnson and Chris Perry, typically for a minimal gain. Hopefully Fitzy has watched tape of mediocre Bengal legend Jeff Blake on how to throw a proper deep ball. In theory, he’s bound to complete one sooner or later, so don’t stop giving it a shot every now and again.

With at least a very crude blueprint carved out by our kindergarten coaching staff, we at least know what can sometimes work with the players we’re throwing out there these days. Having two weeks off and a win streak intact has made me curiously optimistic. But I’m still no dummy.

Eagles 26, Bengals 17


Mojokong - Braaaaiiiinnss!!!!

AFC Overview

2008 grinds on with the physically toughest teams leading there divisions (excluding the NFC West and the AFC West, which are as soft as pancake batter). The Indianapolis win in Pittsburgh last Sunday is the most noteworthy victory of the season where a glitz and glamour team beat a grindhouse team. I still can’t believe they pulled it out.

The New England Patriots are doing it again!! What is with this team? They lose a different key player for the year each week but carry on undeterred. They manhandled a physical but crumbling Buffalo team last week with, what else? defense and ball control. It doesn’t matter who the Patriots employ, as long as Bill “The Bum” Belichick runs that enterprise, they’re the team to emulate. Every year I wish awful things upon New England and this year I had hoped my bad juju worked, but who am I kidding? It seems I just won’t learn my lesson with those guys.

Tennessee is bad to the bone. Many skeptics were at least momentarily silenced after watching the Titan running attack struggle and Kerry Collins throw it 41 times without getting picked. The defense packs a serous wallop and they don’t disguise their mack truck style. They will punch you in the face until you don’t get up, and man, is it working. They aren’t going to run the table and will be humbled by a couple of teams before we head into January, but they’ll be waiting for the NFC contender in the end.

Baltimore is pretty similar to Tennessee. Flacco, like Collins, has proven himself to a lot of nay-sayers. Ray Lewis appears be improving (terrifying), and the other veterans on defense know what it takes to walk away from a cage match still breathing and all of its limbs intact. Look for Todd Heap to have a big second half of the season. He’s been uncharacteristically dormant so far, but he’s too good to be ignored altogether. This week’s game against the NYG promises to be a bloody affair. Don’t be shocked to see the Giants get stunned by a surprise uppercut.

The Colts are another team in which I’ve harbored serious doubts in. Peyton is good enough to put Indy into the playoff conversation, but I don’t see them cracking into the dance when it’s all said and done. They’re not a physical team at all, ranking last in the league in rushing and 24th in stopping the run. An easier second half schedule still might not be enough for a team who lacks backbone, but damn is it an easy schedule (Detroit, Cincinnati, Houston, Cleveland). Former Bengal castaway Keiwan Ratliff can’t play every week as well as he did against the Steelers.

Look out for the Jets. Humongous defensive tackle, Kris Jenkins, may be the most important free-agent acquisition of the season. Mangenius has built a nasty defense through free-agency with pick-ups like Jenkins and linebacker Calvin Pace, proving that great teams aren’t always built through the draft. With Favre slinging the ball around and Thomas Jones still out to prove to the world that he’s legitimate, they could win the AFC East, or at least land a wildcard spot. The Thursday game against the Pats will tell us a lot about their toughness.

Mojokong - The NFL has never been better, no matter what Paul Daugherty tells you.

Sinking In

Well, well. Looks like someone has been reading my blog.

Nine days ago, things made sense for the first time all year. The Bengals didn’t win because the cosmos aligned itself in just the right order. They didn’t win because they tried harder or got a good night’s rest the previous day. They won because they played to their strengths. The coaches seemed to finally recognize the giant hunk of clay that is their team, and formed it into something resembling a football team. It’s not quite Michelangelo’s David, but it’s a step up from McDonald’s Grimace.

The west coast offense was in full effect that day, with Fitzpatrick in the shotgun handing the ball to Benson on delays. No receiver caught a pass longer than 22 yards even though Fitzpatrick threw it 31 times. The short game coupled with the successful delayed running attack, drew the Jaguar defense in and Chad had a few shots deep that were all overthrown to him. No matter. The Bengals took care of business inside the redzone, and with the sensible play calling of Bratkowski (*gasp*), the offense dictated the game converting an astonishing 20 first downs.

Enjoying the respite most defenses have grown accustom to around the league, the Bengals unit looked refreshed and aggressive, particularly in stopping the run - Jaguars had 68 yards rushing on 21 carries. The secondary redeemed itself in a big way after the Houston game where they seemingly gave up. Rookie defensive tackle Pat Sims continues to impress, and alleviates the sting of a wasted second-round pick. We even collected three sacks and applied consistent pressure on Gerrard all day.

Still, the coaching staff sailed too far into the uncharted waters of playing with a lead and didn't know how to handle the situation. The old cautionary run-up-the-gut calls and short passes to Reggie Kelly resurfaced, and the offense stalled as a result. Then the fight broke out between the two giant ogres, Whitworth and Henderson, and negated a 23 yard first down completion. There were three penalties on the play: an illegal contact call against Jacksonville and the offsetting unsportsmanlike conduct calls. The illegal contact call somehow got lost in the shuffle of ejecting the sparring lineman and the Bengals were sacked on the next play, forcing a punt. A poor refereeing job if you ask me.

The defense got soft from that point on. No blitzing, no tight coverage. Just containment zones and cushiony man-to-man assignments. Playing it safe and relaxing with the lead is not what the great teams or the great coaches do. Going after the jugular and demanding animalistic intensity from their players throughout the entire game is more like it.

And then there’s Glen Holt. Why is he here? He’s worthless. A kick returner can be one of two things: a dynamic return man who may fumble but may break one for a score, or a consistent returner who isn’t scoring touchdowns, but never fumbles. Holt is neither, and wouldn’t have a place on any other team in the NFL. He’s exactly the kind of dead weight that is sinking this ship.

All in all, we seemed to have grown up a little bit. It’s only one game, but even an adolescent Bengals team is a step up from the infantile squad we’ve suffered through all season.

Mojokong - Only you can prevent forest fires.

A Depressing Conundrum

This is a free-falling nightmare that will not end. We’ve moved from terms like bad and laughing-stock to dubious distinctions and worst-coaching-job-ever-in-the-history-of-professional-sports. The pounding of the last two games has steam-rolled the fleeting spirit that remained in this team, and we’re only halfway through the season.

The descent back into the quagmire of the NFL pits didn't happen overnight. Those reading closely watched this hurricane slowly descend upon the horizon. It was forewarned.

The curious direction the Bengals have taken under Marvin Lewis has been critiqued since a disappointing 2006 season, which resulted in Lewis’ third 8-8 season. The excuse that year revolved around Carson and his knee. “He isn’t 100 percent; he’s gun shy in the pocket; he wasn’t on the same page with his receivers.”

In 2007, the excuse for the first losing season under Lewis (7-9) emerged as that old song and dance: injuries. “Not enough healthy linebackers; too many secondary guys out; lots of younger players filling in.”

And now we’re here. In the ninth and final circle of Marvin’s Inferno. Where not even light escapes, and first downs suffer mightily. Looking up at everyone else, banished to the kids’ table ..once again.

The worst part about the whole disaster is that Carson is hurt, and that will be the excuse again this season which will preserve Mr. Lewis’ position as head coach. Scarier yet, Bratkowski may be also spared on the same grounds.

Only an 0-16 season will prompt real change. And do you, as a Bengals fan, want that included on our already staggering list of dubious distinctions? At least the 1976 Buccaneers were an expansion team with some of the most random players ever. (There is some great NFL Films footage of that winless Bucs team.)



I guess when it comes down to it, I still want the Bengals to win. I can’t root against them. That would be like turning against your special-needs sibling. I’d rather them pull out two, maybe three wins in the second half of the season, not have the first pick in the draft, and still take Ray Maluaga with the third pick overall. That said, I’m not picking them to win in any of the remaining weeks.

Jaguars 28, Bengals 10

Mojokong - the portal of faith.

Lead the Team in Something

Bengals mosey into Texas to face a team they’ve never lost to, and have enough confidence in prolonging that streak as stock brokers have in the economy right now: nada. When the chips are down, leaders emerge. Strong-minded, willful people who will pull their comrades from the muck and mire of defeat. Too bad the team’s leadership resembles a grade-school theatrical rendition of Lord of the Flies. I guess that makes Ghaicuic Piggy.

The best ones, lead by example. Unfortunately, the example our team provides could be sold as instructional videos on what poor execution and mindless clock management looks like.

John Thornton was brought in what seems like eons ago, partly because of his locker room presence and positive leadership, but when asked for his perspective on an 0-7 team, Thornton said, “I’m all out of perspective. Perspective out.” Yikes.

Look around the Bengal locker room after a loss and you’ll find a lot of shaking heads and shrugging shoulders. No need for finger pointing when the entire organization appears bush-league. Carson is more of a yes-man than a leader. He toes the company line and says things like ‘we can win the next nine games and still make the playoffs’, which is nice enthusiasm, but after a while it becomes nauseating, like Kenneth from 30 Rock.

What’s worse is that Marvin cut the only natural leader on the team. The only ray of sunlight in a very dark place: Willie Anderson. Once he was shown out, the team went into the mind set of a funeral, and collectively mourned a loss the week before their first game. That decision will never make sense to me.

On to the game.

When Fitzpatrick drops back to pass, he either: A) runs for his life, B) stays in the pocket for too long and gets mauled by the pass rush, or C) completes a short pass on a timing route. Given those options, it only makes sense that we make the short pass the focus of the offense.

The running game may be improving, but its doing so at a glacier’s pace, the offensive line still is too in touch with their sensitive side to be able to block anyone, and the defense finally collapsed of exhaustion due to being on the field the vast majority of the season.

If it’s the short pass that prolongs drives, than let’s do it three-fourths of the time. If we have to boil our play book down to under 10 plays to give the defense a break, than that’s what happens. Sure, we wanna see the deep ball, what NFL fan doesn’t? But we would really like to see us score occasionally, even if it happens in a more conventional form. Short passes are the only thing the offense seems capable of achieving right now. West Coast offense time. Let’s go.

Texans 26, Bengals 23


Mojokong - Two men enter, one man leaves.

Bailing Out

For most, a recession means getting by with less. Domestic beer is purchased, public transit is ridden, and spaghetti is served. A new routine is set in order to improve upon, or at least maintain the situation around us. If this is also true for the Bengals, then it couldn’t have happened at a better time.

For starters, the offense - hell, the world - could use a lot less of Chris Perry. Marvin and Brat should be economic with his carries, to put it politely. Although he hasn’t shown much of the pass-catching ability his reputation hinged upon, I still think he could be a serviceable third-down back. I’d like to see him get six to eight chances not to fumble this Sunday, in addition to any check-offs he’s a part of. That leaves Cedric Benson to channel the anger he runs with on the Steelers linebackers upwards of 20 times, but only if the offense can afford to run the ball. Even if Benson gets stopped for no gain every time, I guarantee you that it hurts more to tackle him than it does Perry. Besides, the running game needs help anywhere it can get it, and Benson still hasn’t had a decent sample size to gauge how effective of a runner he can be.

We could also afford to cut back on running the ball on first down. There are stretches of play-calling where the pigeons in the rafters know what’s coming. The next time the Bengals line up in an I-formation on first down and they send a tight end in motion, turn down your TV set and listen to the Cincinnati area say in unison, “They’re running it”. It’s that bad.

It seems we can cut out Glenn Holt altogether. His injury should hopefully make that more visible to the personnel department in Marvin Lewis’ head. In an NFL where the return man is more noticeable than ever, keeping a mediocre one and a mediocre receiver to boot, isn’t being fiscally responsible. Both the second and third-round picks were apparently squandered on useless receivers in Marvin’s last draft. Check out some other second round receivers like Eddie Royal of the Broncos or DeSean Jackson with the Eagles and notice how much they’re contributing to their already successful team. Now look at our second round receiver Jerome Simpson who was drafted before both of those guys and hasn’t had a play of statistical record yet. Draft picks are a precious resource, and a bad team can’t waste them on the distant future. We need help now.

Finally, we need to balance the time of possession battle so that the defense doesn’t die of fatigue.

Look for Dick Lebeau to bully the offensive line, by throwing the kitchen sink at Fitzpatrick. Steeler outside linebacker Lamar Woodley could wreak havoc against our soft, cushiony offensive line and Polamalu stalks the secondary like a storm cloud ready to burst. It could be a long, miserable afternoon for the Bengal offense, but I do see Chad breaking out a bit this game. Fitzy seems to look his way first and their going to throw it deep a few times, even if they have to force it. I wouldn't expect any touchdowns, however.

The only good news going into it is that Willie Parker re-aggravated an injury this week in practice and is a long shot to play Sunday. The Bengals have had a hard time stopping the run in some key stretches, but this week they go against the weakest stable of running backs we’ve seen this year. A smart team would blitz Ben like we’re wild dogs and he’s made of bacon. Their line also has had issues this season and Big Ben has taken a beating early on. The defense should have a good day against a wounded Pittsburgh offense.

Perhaps the great depression version of the Bengals can show us a glimpse of a productive future. All we can evaluate at this point are, what areas are worth keeping and what fat can we trim. If it’s planned out wisely, maybe we’ll taste the good life again someday. Not this Sunday though.

Steelers 20, Bengals 6

Mojokong - Mmmmm bacon.

Cheer Up, Dammit.

Desperate for a silver-lining? More bad news continues to rain upon our battle-scarred domes here in the wasteland of the NFL. Once learning that Carson’s trip to the elbow specialist in New York resulted in a thumbs down, Fitzpatrick was immediately named as the starter against the mighty Steelers this week. With all the deserving criticism and negativity blowing around this city on Sundays, it’s hard to find positives to focus on, but I’m gonna give it a try.

Fitzpatrick played pretty well last week. His numbers were far from staggering, but it’s important to remember that he is a young backup quarterback. He made some accurate throws, found a way to get the high profile receiver tandem involved, and even showed some arm strength when he overshot number eighty-five on a deep ball. The offense established some rhythm on a few drives last week thanks to Fitzy converting some key third downs when it seemed impossible to gain positive yards. He still relies on his scrambling ability a bit too much, but at least he’s good at it. Think of how many times Carson has just sat back in the pocket and allowed himself to be sacked. Fitzpatrick is no Steve Young, but I believe with some more starts under his belt, he could become a capable starter someday. Not even Dan Marino could win many games without a decent running game. There’s no reason for Carson to come back this season and risk long-term injury. I look forward to watching Ryan Fitzpatrick’s progression in the lost season of ‘08.

Ndukwe anchors a secondary that ranks fourth overall in pass defense and could become one of the league’s best by the end of this season. Free safety Marvin White has blossomed into a solid starter, and the first-round draft picks, Joseph and Hall, can tackle and cover with the best of them. But it’s Ndukwe that has created a presence that’s reminiscent of the great ones. Not only can he hit people, he has that certain ball-hawking nature which has produced three recovered fumbles for touchdowns and four picks in just eight starts. When Week 17 mercifully comes to a close, Chinedum will be in those hallowed ranks with Ed Reed and Troy Polamalu. Mark those words.

First-rounder Keith Rivers hasn’t been eye-popping, but he’s shown some real talent and is definitely a long-term fixture in Zimmer’s plans. Dhani Jones and Jeanty are too slow to be game-changers which magnifies the importance to have a linebacker with nice speed like Rivers.

Pat Sims, third-round defensive tackle from Auburn, played last week for the first time this season and made some nice plays. Marvin was impressed enough to credit him in the press-conference after the game. Phasing out John Thornton with Sims sounds like a good idea.

The hope in the press box is that the Bengals end up with Rivers’ college teammate, Ray Maualuga in the ‘09 draft. The pair would be a great push in the right direction to establish an imposing defense, particularly against the run. It isn’t that far off, folks. When you consider how long they’ve been on the field (31st in T.O.P./ 30th in plays from scrimmage), it’s hard to believe that they rank 16th overall.

How’s that for optimism?

Mojokong - Play 32, not 23.

Could you expound on that?

Today's press conference should go something like this:

Marvin, can you explain why you opted to play Perry instead of Cedric Benson late in the game?
Anticipated answer: “we thought Chris gave us the best chance to win.”

Is that why Perry was involved in 12 plays in the second half, none of which went for more than three yards?
Anticipated answer: (sarcastic smile) “that’s right.”

Will you adjust your strategies at all to help the anemic run game in the remaining games this season?
“We’re going to move forward and work to get better. Whatever that takes, that’s what we’ll do.”

How about Utecht? Are you disappointed that he’s dropped so many passes?
“Ben’s a fine player, and he’s going to do better next time.”

Is the offensive line really as bad as it appears (25th in sacks allowed/30th in rushing, before the week!)?
“There’s a lot that goes into giving up sacks. All 11 guys have to work to keep sacks from happening.”

Thanks, Marv.

MK: October 12, 2008 4:46 pm.

Bledsoe Redux

The Bengals offense still sits second to last in yardage with no help on the way. Carson and his inflamed elbow will watch from the sidelines again this week while the Whirling Dervish, Ryan Fitzpatrick gives it another go.

Number nine seems to be on the same career path as Drew Bledsoe. They’re the exact same size, both have cannon arms and both we’re first overall picks. Each golden boy struggled a bit their first season as starters, and both peaked around their fourth years as pros. They stay too long in the pocket, they try to force throws into small places and neither have much scrambling ability. Palmer is fading fast into mediocrity the way Bledsoe did in his last couple years with New England. Bledsoe revived his career some when he moved to Buffalo and I’m beginning to think a change of scenery is the only way Carson is ever going to be great again.

Why bring him back at all in ’08? His elbow is swollen, painful and apparently limiting the throws he can make. I think Fitzpatrick is a capable back-up, but why not begin to show Jordan Palmer some attention. It seems we only get about four quality years out of the Palmers, so let’s groom the next one. I honestly don’t know if Jordan has what it takes to be a decent QB, but the season is lost and we can afford a few zany experiments.

Expect to see Chris Perry relegated to the third-down back role. Cedric Benson showed me enough last week to become the every down back by gaining positive yards and not fumbling. The Chris Perry experiment should be officially considered a failure and completely terminated after the season.

The defense is ranked 31st in sacks so far this season. Robert Geathers has done little to earn his contract extension, and Odom has made a modest impact at best on the defensive line thus far. Zimmer has called plenty of blitzes this year – especially safety blitzes, but most times it becomes neutralized by effective pass protection from opposing running backs and tight ends. The Bengals are tied for 27th in the league with a –4 turnover differential. The defense has been on the field far too long this season and lack of turnovers coupled with a missing running game are the reasons why.

Marvin needs something good to happen to the Bengals, which can only mean a win. The team, the fans and the city aren’t swallowing the respectable loss placebo any longer. Coach Lewis talks about how slim the margin of error is for his players, but after almost winning four games (the Tennessee loss was really never that close) the real difference is the coaching.

Finally players are beginning to raise the issue about the play calling:

“You can say the play calling isn't where it needs to be. But if we're executing the simple stuff, they'd be comfortable calling the big stuff. We're not executing the little stuff and it puts (Bratkowski) in a bind upstairs. When we were rolling, Coach Brat called whatever he wanted,” said Chad.

“With Slim (Henry) playing, it opens up the offense and it gets the coaches to open it up more, which is strange to me," wondered Housh.

“I'm not sure. I know (offensive coordinator Bob Bratkowski) was definitely conscious of it. He knew the situation, what was going on.” said Carson of the lack of the deep ball. “But not too many teams have been successful throwing the ball from nine yards deep, with seven-step drops, and really holding onto it long.”

Enough said.

Jets 22, Bengals 13

* Willie Anderson played great last week for Baltimore.

Mojokong – Meadowlands Massacre Part 2: Fitzpatrick In Flames!

That's Heat You're Sitting In

Marvin comes off as a dictator leading a struggling nation-state into the ground. He won’t explain anything about how the team is ran or explain their outlook on any issue. He laughs mockingly when asked for insight, and tries to convince outsiders that his job cannot be understood by mere mortals. He locks himself and his team away while he apparently squanders precious resources like proven offensive lineman and defensive backs, draft picks, and particularly time. Our only window of what’s really going on with the Bengals is on game days, and that’s been far from a show of might.

After last season I wrote that Marvin had this year and next to turn things around before he’s actually led to the chopping block. Now I’m ready to move that time frame up to this off-season. What kind of coach is this guy? Can’t say he’s a players coach. Can’t say he’s a disciplinarian either. He came into the job as a defensive brain, yet here we are in year six and we’re only beginning to show signs of development on that side of the ball (and that has very little to do with any of Marvin’s doing). We’ve watched a once formidable offense crumble into a smoldering pile of useless debris. What does he bring to the table? Why should we show patience to the man?

I believe that Marvin has shown us the leadership ineptitude of Kim Jong Il. I don’t expect to be led onto the practice field or the locker rooms. I understand that some things, even most things on an NFL team, must be kept secret. But what I want to know is, are the Bengals working to improve? An admission of failure would be a step in that direction. A simple statement that modestly acknowledges our past mistakes, and a commitment to a new direction. That doesn’t mean “going forward” as Supreme Chancellor Lewis enjoys saying. It means making a right or a left. I don’t care which way, just turn.

*The on-side kick last week must be pointed out as the best Marvin decision, maybe ever.

Mojokong - It’s Time for Real Change: Jason Garret in ‘09.

A Soft Plummet

If the Bengal season is a plane ride, then the pilots are unaware that the jet is out of fuel. Once they realize, if they do at all, the only thing that can be done is to slowly descend into a cornfield somewhere.

While we, the passengers, wait for our emergency landing, we can at least check out our new offensive toys we picked up this week.

First off, we have the returned and allegedly repaired, Chris Henry. Our offense has the flu and Henry could be something like an Advil – helpful, but makes little of an actual difference. We know what Henry can and can’t do. He can jump well on deep balls and break tackles on smaller corners. He can’t take a hit very well and sometimes tends to lose focus (a common Bengal symptom).

Then there’s running back Cedric Benson who this week became the newest addition to the NFL’s Home for Wayward Boys, headquartered at PBS. Benson is an emotional guy who carries the ball with an angry running style similar to that of Corey Dillon. Here is a guy who broke down in tears when the Bears drafted him with the fourth overall pick in the 2005 draft. Chicago cut him when he was arrested for drunken driving and drunken boating charges in Texas, both have since been dropped. Now it looks as if he’ll be the starter Sunday against the league’s most talented team – the Cowboys.

I like the Benson acquisition. When it became clear that Perry wasn’t going to immediately improve our running game, I began to wonder if Mike Brown would pick Benson off the second-chance-tree that he keeps in his garden at home. It would be a ballsy move for most franchises, but here in Cincinnati, we have neither our season nor our reputation to worry about.

Let's talk about something positive and credit the defense. Mike Zimmer has an overworked unit which ranks 19th in overall defense. Not bad. The guy did come in with a nice resume and some legitimate accolades and is now putting his troops to work as expected. He blitzes at the right times, and his young corners have looked most professional in the first quarter of this season. Zimmer and his squad give us some fleeting hope to our current bleak outlook of the season. Whatever you do, Mike Brown, don’t lose this guy.

The captain notices the fuel light blinking now, and there’s some perspiration gathering on his top lip. He doesn’t want to inform us - the passengers - just yet. While there’s plenty of reason to panic, he doesn’t have the heart to tell anybody. Not until he either absolutely has to, or until we figure it out for ourselves. In the meantime, take in the scenes outside your window. Notice the little islands getting bigger? See how we’ve dipped below the clouds now? See how we’re crashing?

Mojokong – The Paper Tiger

Browns vs. Abel

That stench wafting in from the North is our divisional equal, the Cleveland Browns, as they make their way to Paul Brown Stadium this weekend for the Battle of the Beaten. With each unable to get a win so far, both teams will see this game as attainable, and ultimately, feel more pressured to turn their respective ship around now. This is a desperation game for both sides, as we move along to the second, and more daunting phase of the schedule.

There are many old-timers who have a special soft spot for the Brownies. After all, they were the team that was broadcasted on those old floor-model televisions our fathers watched before the Bengals existed. The mighty Paul Brown, coach, general manager, and owner of both Ohio franchises, was the common denominator each city could agree was great. Younger fans have no nostalgia for the Browns, and therefore have no respect for them. Both cities despise Pittsburgh too, but each fear and respect the Steelers due to their historical dominance of the division. Earning a spot to the playoffs after beating them in Pittsburgh, felt like we as Bengals fans had finally tasted what the real NFL was like. A win over the Browns is like beating your younger brother at arm wrestling; no big deal.

This time shouldn't be all that monumental either. The likelihood of Sunday’s game having any meaningful repercussions later on in the season is remote at best. Many will likely bypass watching the game altogether, writing it off as the lower rungs of what the NFL has to offer. Sure it’s a beautiful Sunday with plenty to do other than watch football, but the Bengals are going to win and that is a scarce thing to witness this season.

Cleveland’s defense isn’t much better than ours. Their attempts to improve the front line in the off-season by acquiring gigantic run-stuffers Cory Williams and Shawn Rodgers, seem to have no impact as they still rank 25th against the run and 23rd overall this season. The Brown’s secondary is particularly weak and Carson has traditionally thrown well against them.

The Brownies have struggled mightily on offense too, ranking dead last in yards-per-game. Like Week 2 of last year, Derek Anderson is one bad throw away from being benched. But unlike last year, Leon Hall will not get repeatedly roasted by receiver Braylon Edwards. Hall has looked good this year, while Edwards certainly has not (eight catches for 73 yards in three games).

Running back Jamal Lewis has been a Bengal-killer throughout his long AFC North career, but the Cincinnati defense last week shut down a back who is similar but better in Brandon Jacobs of the Giants. Lewis is averaging a pedestrian 52 yards rushing, while the team has only been good for 71 a game.

Bengal coaches say they’ve emphasized sacks and turnovers this week in practice. Defensive coordinator Mike Zimmer has dialed up blitzes on some appropriate times during the games, but the extra pass-rushers simply aren’t finding ways to get to the quarterback. I think Zimmer and Co. will unleash the hounds against Anderson and hope he throws a pick or two.

Health continues to be an advantage for Cincinnati with only Joseph and Dexter Jackson out this week. Look for Cleveland to go after rookies David Jones and Simeon Castille, along with freshly acquired journeyman Jamar Fletcher, similar to how New York did last week.

Cleveland was listed as a dark horse to make a Super Bowl run. Many in this area felt that claim was a bit ambitious and now it’s become downright hilarious. The bitterness the dawg pound is undoubtedly spewing to the players via radio shows and message boards, appears to be getting through to them. Last week, numerous news sources reported that while piled up in a tackle, Browns’ linebackers tried to gouge Willis McGahee’s eyes out!

A loss would be the most shameful yet this season. All the naysaying you hear being murmured throughout the tri-state area would become deafening if we allow our bratty little brother to come in and take us down. No way that’s gonna happen.

Bengals 30, Browns 18


Mojokong - We love Paul Brown more than you do, Cleveland. Take that!

Marvin Meets the Giant

Week 3 preview

I know, I know. You don’t really care that much anymore. But the Mojokong doesn’t rest, so here we go.

The NYG are a complete team. Their offense is explosive and strong, and their pass rush is probably the best in football. They’re coached well (remember when we were all so glad that the Bengals hired Marvin and not Coughlin?), and they consistently seem to have backups rise up out of nowhere.

Offensively, they’re the best we’ve seen since the Patriots rolled into town on MNF, Week 4 of last season. This a match up where blitzing all the time is simply too dangerous to try (not that do we that much of it anyway - but it is better than before). Their big-play ability will have the Bengal D in soft zone more than usual. I expect the Giants to move the ball methodically down the field, converting short third downs and eating up the clock.

Plaxico is tall and dangerous, and if early reports of Jonathan Joseph being out for this week hold true, Leon Hall might be in for an impossible day against him. David Jones would start at the other corner, and he has shown me very little football instinct so far in his career. Look for Plax to draw lots of attention from safeties playing deep on passing downs, which will open up short crossing routes to Amani Toomer and Kevin Boss.

They also have three capable running backs, headlined by 260-pound running back Brandon Jacobs. He’s a fierce runner who reminds me of a younger Jamal Lewis. Bradshaw and Ward spell Jacobs on third downs and running plays to the outside. Expect all three to get carries on their way to a combined 160 yards or so.

Like Tennessee, the Giants rely on their front four defensive lineman to put consistent pressure on the quarterback and allow the linebackers and safeties to stay with their man. Last week, we saw Carson check off to Reggie Kelly and Daniel Coates in the flat when he felt pressure, and the linebackers were always there to take them down as soon as they caught the pass. Assuming Brat won’t adjust to quicker routes and three-step-drops until the protection can prove its consistent, it would make sense to keep tight ends into block and maybe buy more time to allow receivers to get open. A big part of why this offense smells like raw sewage right now is because Reggie Kelly and Ben Coates are getting the ball more than Chad and TJ. I like a good pass-catching tight end too, but if the five fat guys on the line aren’t buying the QB enough time, then it becomes a luxury you can’t afford. Besides, Ben Utecht was supposed to be that guy and he wasn’t doing much actual catching before he bruised his sternum.

If I had to nitpick on New York’s defense, I’d point to a young secondary who benefits greatly from a tremendous defensive line. If the combination of defensive ends Strahan and Umenyora were an A+ last year, replacements Justin Tuck and Mathias Kiwanuka are an A- this season. Middle linebacker Antonio Pierce is a mean vet who provides crucial leadership to a fairly young defense. Due to retirement, injury and free agency, this defense is without four starters from last year’s championship squad, and doesn’t look any different on the field so far in ‘08.

The Giants have had an easy schedule so far, comfortably taking care of Washington and St. Louis. My expectations for this week are like everybody else’s: another convincing win over another bad team.

Giants 31, Bengals 14

Mojokong - Meadowlands Massacre Part One: Hoffa is Raised!

For This Long

Remember?

I had to bring this back to remind everyone how long we've complained about the same thing. Check the date.

MK

The Winds of No Change

On December 4, 2005, Rudi Johnson ran 14 yards for a fourth quarter touchdown against the Steelers, giving the Bengals a 38-24 lead. That moment was the peak of this regime. Since then, Marvin Lewis has watched his team tailspin back into oblivion.

Ah, the good ol’ days, when Sundays were a blast. When our offense purred like a Maserati and turnovers seemed to fall from the sky. The future seemed golden back then. We had all the ingredients to become the Colts. What could go wrong?

Lots went wrong. We lost some players to “the streets”, lost some to injury, lost control of egos and eventually lost games. The way the team has gone about their business since that treasured season has been curious at best. While the rest of the league has adjusted to trends and patterns, it seems that the Bengals are stuck in 2005. They don’t understand how the NFL is an amoeba that is constantly redefining itself. The formula that caught most teams off-guard three seasons ago, doesn’t produce the same results these days. You can’t rob the same bank twice.

Want statistical proof? The Bengals are 5 for 26 (19 percent) on third downs so far, as opposed to 84 for 196 (42 percent) in 2005. They average 3.5 yards a play now, compared to 5.6 then. Carson averaged 7.3 yards a pass when things were clicking. This year, a pathetic 4.5. There's more, but you get the point.

The stubborn nature of this organization has ruined any hope of a successful immediate future. A young team who knows its in a rebuilding phase is far more respectable than a veteran team who won’t admit that it sucks.

“I think the best way to look at our situation is that we're 0-2, we're by no means out of the playoffs, and we've got a definite uphill battle ahead of us. Who better to get your mind set back than going into the defending world champion's home and getting a win?” said an optimistic Carson Palmer after another embarrassing thrashing Sunday.

“We go out and practice every day. We bust our ass, run hard, complete everything ... and then in the game, for some reason, it just doesn't go down that way. I don't know why.” said confused Bengal receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh following an anaemic performance.

Here’s a hint: RUN NEW PLAYS!!!

Mojokong - troubling, disheartening, dubious, irksome, underwhelming, disappointing, uninteresting. Blagh!

Drippin' Off the Meat Grinder

There are six teams in the NFL that are identically built: Baltimore, Buffalo, Chicago, Jacksonville, Tampa Bay and Tennessee. They’re made up of strength and patience. They make you want to quit. They sock you in the face over and over again. I call it grind-house football.

It’s an old philosophy built around field position. Field goals win games if the other team can’t cross the 50 yard line. Watching grind-house offenses can be slow and boring. Expect to see lots of hand offs and check downs, tight end catches and (gulp) double-reverses. Throws are to be kept to a minimum and fumbles are punishable by death. Punts are ok, missed field goals are not.

Playing grind-house defense is simple: Keep people in front of you and make tackles. The front four are good enough by themselves to not require fancy linebacker and safety blitzes. The secondary doesn’t get beat deep and linebackers don’t miss tackles.

Good special teams play is essential for a successful grind-house style. Dangerous return men can change the ol’ battle for field position in a hurry. Buffalo, thought to be the best special teams unit in the NFL, pulled off a classic, guy-acting-like-he’s-going-to-the-bench-when-he’s-really-not fake field goal for a touchdown last week, adding to a punt return touchdown earlier in the game for the Bills

Last week we were treated to a heaping spoonful of grind-house by the Ravens. This week we meet the Ravens older brother, the Titans. Tennessee outslugged the musclebound Jaguars 17-10 in Week 1 at Jacksonville. The defensive line is super aggressive, and is led by the Panzer tank, defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth. Big Al snacked on the Jags offensive line last week with two sacks, while the Titans racked up seven for the game. If Eric Ghaicuic is the cupcake he appears to be when I rewatch the games in slow motion on my DVR, than he is literally going to be mauled by a wild animal on Sunday. Poor guy.

If that wasn’t enough, linebacker Keith Bullock is the kind of guy you think of when you think about army tattoos. They both seem old fashioned tough. His tackles cause fumbles and his trash talking cause headlines. He and Ray Lewis are the same linebacker breed. Bullock requires some attention when game planning the Titans.

On the plus side, the Titan secondary is vulnerable. Lil’ Finnigan had no chance of covering Chad in last year’s game and watched him operate a CBS camera as a result.

Tennessee will hand off to the quick Chris Johnson and/or the bulldozer-type runner LenDale White, as many as 35 times in a close game. Johnson likes to run off tackle and the Titans’ wide outs look to be really good blockers to facilitate that. White is an up-the-middle runner who is difficult to tackle.

With Vince Young out with a knee problem and a severe contusion to his ego, the immobile Kerry Collins will look to throw quickly to avoid moving. He does have a strong arm, and if he has time, he will test the secondary deep. Their receivers are average at best, but the tight end Bo Scaife ended with 106 yards on six catches last week.

Considering they have a quarterback who moves like Han Solo in carbonite, I would assume we might want to blitz pretty heavily. No need to double team any of the receivers or play prevent zone on this offense. Linebackers, especially Rivers, need to stay at home and bring people down. I was disappointed with the angles our tacklers were taking on ball carriers. Bad angles end up with a group of defenders chasing down runners instead of one player stopping a play upon impact. The defensive line needs to win the surge at the line of scrimmage more regularly. For Peko and Thornton, it comes down to pushing the player in front them backwards. If they fail, opposing runners find yards and we give up another third-and-short.

The Titans pack a wallop. They want to slug it out into the tenth round and apply the knockout at the bell. They’re battle hardened, grind-house. Like a ten hour arm-wrestle. I expect them to be angry and intimidating. I expect the Bengals to be shaken and punked.

Titans 20, Bengals 9

Mojokong - Death Proof

The Longest Season

The point of emphasis the Bengals decided to focus on this training camp was becoming more physical. Being able to run the ball and stopping third downs were two issues the coaching staff insisted on improving. The 2008 training camp t-shirt this year even had the word “PHYSICAL” printed on the back. Yet when describing Sundays game another word came to mind:

Soft.

Not only did the Bengals’ offensive line get tossed around, the defense allowed 221 rushing yards and went limp on too many important third downs. The Ravens had the ball for more than 12 minutes longer than Cincinnati. Joe Flacco ran for a 38 yard touchdown in slow-motion!

I remember the front office signing defensive lineman to long contracts this off-season in order to generate more of a pass rush. That didn’t happen. I also recall replacing a slow running back who couldn’t generate any yards with, apparently,... another slow running back? And then there’s that certain lineman who was undoubtedly laughing to himself as he watched his former mates look far worse than they ever had with him.

What I don’t remember seeing is DeDe Dorsey touch the ball. Or a quick out pass to Chad to get him into the game. Or Carson adjust to a three-step-drop when the defensive pressure was obviously not going to relent. Or Eric Ghaicuic winning a battle inside.

How many years must we bitch about Bratkowski? Predicting his play calling is like predicting when the light turns green.

“It’s third and one, Bob, whad’ya think?”

“Up the gut.”

“Now it’s fourth and one, what now?”

“Up the gut.”

Why is he employed? He has taken a rare crop of talent and strangled the life from it with the stale, suffocating style of play calling he insists on. He has made Carson a worse player, he’s limited the ultra-explosiveness of Chad, he is currently wasting the talent that still exists within the offensive line and he may have ruined Rudi’s career.

One can’t help but wonder what actually takes place during practice. What’s our bread and butter play?

Fourth and one at the Ravens 25 yard line, down by seven points, seven minutes and some change left, time to run the bread and butter play. Palmer hands off to Perry who runs up the gut for a loss of a yard.

Here’s what Carson said about that play:

"That's a nine out of 10 play," said Bengals quarterback Carson Palmer. "Usually we make that nine out of 10 times. That's our bread-and-butter."

I’m not sure what is more disheartening: the fact that a run up the middle is our bread and butter play, or that we can’t gain yards on it, even if it is.

As previously griped about, there is no direction to this team. Who are our leaders? Carson? He guaranteed we beat Baltimore in our next meeting, that doesn’t make you a leader. He’s Captain Brightside who says things like, “The good news is that it’s only Week 1.” Thanks, Carson.


Mojokong - It’s only week one.